Recently in Work Category

I have some friends who occasionally still read this. Thanks for sticking with me, folks! I don't seem to ever have the time/motivation/whatever it is to update, though I think of it often. I love being able to read back on entries from years ago, and would like to do the same for this period in my life.

But so, yes. Been ridiculously busy. Why so busy?

As posted about a month ago, I am back in school. I love it. I mean, love love love love LOVE LOVE LOOOOOVE it.

It's a mixture between a calm, rational interest in the topic I'm studying and a psychotic burning need to know more. I have repeatedly left my classes high on knowledge. This is one of my favorite feelings in the world. I am pretty sure my man is sick of me talking about my classes, but my excitement is boiling over and I can't contain it. Have to give him credit though: he listens. Yep, I found me a winner.

Taking these classes has been very difficult, however. I go to class before work on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and I leave late those nights to attend another class in the evenings. I don't get to see Mateo much at all those days; if I am lucky, I sneak in five or ten minutes before he falls asleep. I miss him enough that I have to call home and talk to him on the phone. They are silly conversations, but I need to hear his little voice tell me about the noodles he is eating.

Plus, I have constant homework, no time to do it. Most of it, I do during nap time on the weekends, or occasionally some time after 9:00 pm on weekdays. Mondays, in particular, I stay up late. J is gone and T is asleep, and I just power through until midnight or so.

My goal was to continue at this rate for the next 1.5 years, finishing the pre-requisites and then applying to the graduate program. I believed that I still had another required class to take next fall, thus pushing my application date out to 2010 at a minimum.

However, I discovered last week that I was wrong. The fall class is not required at all, and, exceptionally, they are offering it during winter quarter this year. Once I learned that, I quickly calculated that if I were to go to classes full-time, I could apply as early as this year.

I talked it over with my little family, and we decided this was the best course of action. So many factors went into consideration, and I won't lay them all out here, but we weighed the pros and cons. I had already been looking for another job because I wasn't particularly thriving in my current one. Knowing I needed to work somewhere flexible enough to let me keep taking classes was becoming a problem. The class schedule for winter quarter has classes primarily in the middle of the day, too, making schedule arranging difficult.

As a result, two Tuesdays ago, we decided I would quit my job and go to school full-time for the next six months. Doing so would allow me to apply this February for grad school. In the highly likely event that I don't get in (acceptance rate: 18%), I could at least take some graduate credits next year, know the faculty better, and have an additional year's worth of coursework for the admissions board to base their decision on. If I get in, great. If not, I will look for work come June and take one graduate class per quarter, if I choose.

This revelation -- the realization that I could do this and it wouldn't mean we would have to starve for the next few months -- that was a great feeling. I have a work from home opportunity lined up, possibly two. Money will be coming in the door, though obviously I will be spending more than I am making. Still, we can afford the six month gap, and it's so so worth it.

I told my boss about my intention to leave our company on Thursday. I had been having some nervousness about it, but he was incredibly supportive. He and I both recognized that my enthusiasm for my job had been slumping, and we knew it was not a career path I intended to stick with forever. Still, he said he would like to keep me on part-time, doing some writing as a contractor. Sounds fantastic to me, as that is the part of my job where I felt I worked best.

HR made the announcement on Friday, even though I will still be there for another month or so. We need to work on finding a replacement, and people needed to know. When everything was said and done, I felt great.

I am really thankful to my current employer for a lot of things. Mainly, I got to get my feet wet in the corporate world and experience a true desk job. I was given a fair amount of autonomy and learned a boat load about marketing and the software business. My coworkers are almost universally cool people; it is a little bittersweet to leave them so suddenly.

However. However, however, however. I am THRILLED with the occasion to finish up these classes. I am excited to be able to manage my own time, to determine when I do my work from home stuff, when I do my school stuff, and when I go to the grocery -- these are luxuries that I cannot wait to experience again.

I am going to take a lot of classes (five). However, the schedule is bearable, I will be able to pick up and drop off Mateo daily, and Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday afternoons are completely free. Yes, I will need to study my ass off, especially since I know "they" will be watching me. But I will be able to do so in a coffee shop, at the library, or at home, if I so choose. This is amazing freedom to me. I might even be able to take yoga again.

So. My job ends the first week of December. The following week is exams. Then I have one week of kid-free open time (hallelujah!), and then it's Christmas and Mateo's school is closed.

And then? Head-first into school.

I can't wait.

It's Sunday morning. T is playing his drums and singing the ABC's. This is a regular gig for him, one he did with much fanfare at the Oregon State Fair a few weeks back. An entire tent of people applauded his performance, while I laughed so hard I cried. I really think this kid has a rock star streak. Look out, Mama.

So much is going on right now that it's hard to keep up. Still, at the end of the day it boils down to the basics: getting T in his jam jams, reading some bedtime stories, putting the little man to bed. He is loud and crazy and difficult at times, but he is a treasure all the same. I am so proud of the boy he is becoming, and sometimes I can't help but wonder where the time has gone.

In other news, I recently made the decision to start going back to school. I love school and honestly don't feel totally well if not pursuing something academic. My last few years of classes were sort of random (linguistics), but now I aim to do something concrete that leads to an actual career path. I am very much blessed in that my employer has agreed to be flexible with me, and we have worked out an arrangement where I will continue to work full-time. Twice per week, I will have class in the morning. The other three mornings, I am required to get in by 7:30. All days of the week, I am to work through lunch, with a hard stop at 5 to get Mr. T.

The timing is intense, but it will cut back to something a little more reasonable in January. School is on a quarter system, so I need to make it through three months of crazy. I know I can do it. I am a little nervous, but it will go fine. I got my textbooks the other day. One class is Neurology, the other is Anatomy and Physiology. The combination means I suddenly have many atlases of the human body in my possession.

A huge part of being able to do this is having someone supporting me in my endeavors. I never realized how little support I received from Teo's dad, both emotionally and just in the daily things. It makes such a difference to have someone who is not only behind me but also excited for me, and who is willing to help out with basics like cooking dinner and taking out the trash. It really is amazing what a difference that makes -- not feeling like you're going into something completely alone.

Anyway, I am both excited and nervous. For now, T and I are going to spend Sunday in the park with a new friend. School starts in a week. Wish me luck.

This has been my first week of truly living the single mama experience. Sure, I have been alone in raising Teo since about month two, but I've always been surrounded by people and have had tons of free time. This is his first week of full-time day care and my first week of a full-time job. Our first week of not really having support around in the mornings or even all that much in the evenings. It is very, VERY hard. It is so difficult that I don't even have the time to be lonely yet, though I could see how eventually I might get there. Right now, I am just too darn busy.

Today is Friday and we were to have a big of a wine-n-cheese gathering at the end of the day at work. Excited to finally meet my coworkers in a less work-related setting, I wrapped up my final meeting for the day and went back to my desk. On my cell phone was a message from Mateo's day care. It turns out he had (and still has) a fever and needed to come home. So I told my boss that I was sorry and I ducked out early.

These are the kinds of breaks that single moms just don't get to take. I work 8:15 to 5:15 and I spend much of my morning and evening dropping off and picking up the little guy. There is no relief -- there just isn't. I think the day to day part is not that complicated, it is just intimidating and a little overwhelming when you consider the situation waiting for you all the way down the line.

This weekend we have to drive out to an urgent care clinic outside the city to get Teo's ears checked, per his doctor's request last week. She said they seemed to be clearing but recommended I verify the infection had completely disappeared. Again, I can't take the time off work, so that is how we will spend our Saturday. Although I am not happy Mateo is sick today, at least his timing is good as we have to visit the doctor anyway. My poor baby is just looking so much like a sack of potatoes, I could cry.

Also, I have no idea about American corporate culture. I just found out what a brownbag is, for example. I have done a lot of guess work as to what certain words mean, and I am very grateful for context and the power of the nod. I am getting there, but there is a very steep learning curve here.

So this weekend is going to be all about catch up. I am taking Mateo to the doctor and am looking to get the groceries I need for next week. I still need some boring things for the house: a few garbage cans, envelopes, little sticky things to go on the chairs so they won't scratch the floor. During Mateo's naps, I will work. It will be a wild, wild weekend for sure.

I thought last night about dating, and how that is a goal of mine for one of these days. I have absolutely no idea how that will ever even be a possibility. It's actually pretty amusing when I think about it. Sad, in some ways, I suppose, but at least for the moment it is just funny, funny, funny.

I got a job.

Oh goodness, I will be happy when this week is over. The days are starting at five, thanks to Mateo, and I am pretty much go! go! go! until eight or so. I did two interviews yesterday, one this morning, and have another this afternoon. I also toured a day care and am visiting a second this evening. I have spent lots of time on the phone, calling people and places and getting information and organizing. It is also tricky to do all of this in a town where I only sort of have my bearings. On tap for tomorrow includes another am interview (gotta figure out the childcare situation pronto), a second meet-up with a potential employer, and then an afternoon of calm before we get back on the airplane for seven hours of flying on Thursday.

The interviews themselves are going fine, although everyone out here is freakishly nice so I suppose I wouldn't be able to know otherwise. They just smile and make me feel good about my answers, no matter how poorly phrased and off-the-wall they may be. I love nice people. Especially when interviewing.

Mateo is having a good time with his aunt and uncle, too, so that's good. He was a doll on the way over here -- seven hours of flying with a layover after the fourth hour, and he held up like a champ. He even made some friends along the way. I sat next to a wonderful woman (named Lee, also a Libra) who loved on him in a major way. She has seven grandkids and looked like a hippie-ish type, just oozing good vibes from every pore. She took him in her arms, and then eventually so did the stewardesses, and I breathed for a moment and thanked the universe. It's been a bit tough on TayTay with the (we think) teething and the time difference and the lack of sleep while in transit, but he's doing alright. Sleeping a lot yesterday and today, which lets me do my thang, too.

But, I will be very, very happy to be able to put my feet up. On Saturday.

We had a crazy day at work yesterday -- holiday shoppers gone wild and what not. Thus far, I am really enjoying my job as far as a temporary gig goes. The BCS is really nice to its employees, and I have been getting a fair amount of positive feedback from my managers, which is always good for the ego. The combo deal means I don't really mind going to work, outside from the fact that it's tiring and of course I miss Mateo while I'm gone. Still - I know it's good for me and probably him too.

Yesterday, I was helping a customer who had her little boy in tow. He was blond and looked like a bit of a troublemaker, and was missing a few front teeth. In other words, cuteness extreme. He started telling me about a book he had recently read, and I half talked to him and half talked to his mom for a moment. Then he whispered to his mom, " I want to ask her alinadsg lknadsoginag." She leaned down (trying to keep the conversation confidential because you never know what a little kid can say), "What was that honey?"

He loud-whispered back, "I want to ask her if she has a son."

Before the mom could get awkward, I leaned over and said, "Did you want to ask me something?"

"Do you have a son?" he asked, with a big semi-toothed grin.

"I do!" I answered.

"How old is he?" he asked.

"He is six months old," I said.

Triumphantly, he pointed at himself and said, "I'm SIX!!!"

"Well, what do you know? You're six years old and my son is six months old. Of course, you know how to do a lot of things that he doesn't know how to do yet, but you guys have the number six in common."

He paused for a moment, looked at me kinda sweetly and said, "I bet he's wondering where you are right now."

Just about broke my heart.

In other news, I sort of accidently got placed in the kids department at the BCS -- much to my own happiness -- so these kinds of stories might abound.

Last week, I informed my boss that I was quitting by phone. I know this is not the way things should be done, but he is impossible to reach and I preferred telling him sooner rather than later. His response to my call was, "Ok, come by the store and we can talk about it in person." So much for me saving time/energy, but at least I got the hard part -- the part about not coming back to work -- over and done with.

So today was the day to go in and see him. I was nervous about it, I guess because my boss and his wife have been so good to me and I felt like I was letting them down somehow. I know that he is also partially responsible because he changed his mind about my paperwork, but regardless... I suppose I just felt I owed them something.

But you know what? He was really wonderful to me today. We chatted for at least an hour and he talked about everything. We discussed my future, his experiences raising his kids, his own break-up with someone after over ten years together. He assured me that he thought I was making the right choice, and then he went on to tell me his plans for the business over the next few years. It turns out that I am not really inconveniencing him at all, as he is completely restructuring -- but I won't get into detail about it here. Let's just say that it involves some enormous changes for him and, possibly, a good reason for the two of us to stay in contact in the future.

Then I went to see the accountant and my coworkers, as well as the most smiley Parisian woman I know (who works one store over). All of them ooohed over Mateo, and he was perfectly content to ham it up for them. We got a few giggles out of him and everyone got to hold him for awhile. I was so glad he was mellow and happy with everybody; it gave me a chance to tell them about my decision while still distracting us enough to keep smiling.

Overall, I felt so good walking out of there, knowing I had the full support of the mini-family I have come to know at work. I am also thrilled to know I'll get my vacation pay, on top of the last bit of maternity leave payments. Seriously, France is pretty awesome in that regard.

At any rate, having those necessary conversations today unblocked something that has been eating away at me, and now I feel I can mentally make the jump to my life back "home". I am so grateful to have the blessing of all of my friends here -- coworkers included -- and that I am leaving this country with so many positive ties and memories. It's bittersweet, of course, but overall it helps me to think that at least I have been doing some things right over the last eight years.

I love my boss. We get along great, I have a lot of respect for him, he is incredibly generous. Also, he is a whole head shorter than me.

Today I spent a day "in meetings," working on some "documents" and talking a few things over with Men in Suits. This is very much not my element, but I went with it anyway, pretending that I knew exactly what I was doing. Curiously enough, I think I pulled it off.

When the two financial types came into the office, there was a flurry of activity, I shook their hands, we got straight down to business. At a desk, in chairs. We talked for two hours, discussing a variety of technical details that I actually understood. I asked pertinent questions. I may be on my way to adulthood.

At the end of our meeting, they suggested we go run some things by my boss, and I obliged. I told them to go on ahead, and that I would meet them at the store as soon as I had put away the extra stool we had stolen from a neighboring boutique. They went ahead.

And when I walked in to where two Men in Suits and my boss were, suddenly it occured to me: all three of these men - who were technically my "superiors" - were the exact same height. They all came up to my chin. Literally.

It felt very strange to be a part of such an official, business-like procedure while towering over three men twice my age. Plus, as mentioned, they were in suits. I was wearing a hoodie.

I also only got 3 hours of sleep last night (I had a very unexpected and random burst of insomnia) and it took everything I had not to giggle and giggle and giggle at the awkwardness of it all. Eventually, I just sat down... it was simply too much. They remained standing, probably relieved to physically assert their authority once again.

In the end: yay! I got through The Big Meeting and only have quadrupled my workload for the month. I think it's sort of funny that I have been put in charge of steering this ship. I mean, eventually, I'm going to be doing the occasional 50 000 euro transaction here, people.

This from the girl who quivered a bit when she bought a new cell phone today using her freebie points. I had to pay 19 euros, and I seriously hesitated doing so even though my current phone is broken. On the metro immediately following the purchase, I tried to justify getting the 19-euro phone instead of the 1-euro phone by wondering what the last non-necessity (food, metro tickets, blood tests) I bought myself was. It was the pregnancy book (also 19 euros) that I picked up in November. Besides that, nada. That made me smile, because at that rate, I would have a yearly budget of just under 120 euros for frivolous goods. So I felt better about my 19-euro folly.

This all brings me back to my meeting this afternoon.

The Men in Suits talked for a moment today about online payments, and how certain cards cannot work online. They mentioned that these were cards reserved for people who don't have a lot of money, or whose bank is obligated to moniter their spending for some reason or another. Then they chuckled and said, "I don't think the people with those cards are exactly your sort of clientle," implying that we're clearly all united together in the kind of stratosphere where people have premium cards and more flexible payment options. I didn't have the heart to tell them that I have a restricted card, myself, so I went along and pretended we were stratopheric neighbors. I'm not sure if my co-chuckling was convincing, but maybe my amazonian status was enough to distract them.