Archives: May 2007
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Discovered this morning: four little stretch marks on the underside of my belly. And I was beginning to think I would escape unscathed!
Just an update on the midwife visit.
1) This was the MW I didn't like the last time I went to the birthing center, but she was great today. Maybe it was just my mood? Anyway, I am so glad this visit went WAY better than the last one.
2) She told me my weight is perfect. That was good to hear.
3) She "investigated" and um... why didn't anybody tell me how painful that could be? Righto. At any rate, it looks like Romulus is still head down but not looking to make a move anytime soon -- which was exactly what I wanted to hear.
4) She mentioned other aspects of my anatomy and said that if she had to describe a body best-equipped for doing this birthing business as easily as possible, she might just describe me. Then she said, "I mean, you've even got the big hips to boot!" Awesome! (actually, I appreciated it, but that is probably the only time/place where I would take such a comment well). Then she added, "You've had the ideal pregnancy, haven't you?" And I said, "Yeah. Can't complain." She nodded wisely and said, "I hope the birth goes just as well. From what I can tell, you should coast through it." It was cute.
5) She also asked if The Boy is African, and when I confirmed she said, "Ok, if you don't give birth by the tenth, call the front desk and tell them that it's your due date but nothing's happened. They're going to say, 'That's ok, wait a day or two...' but you should respond by saying, 'No, the father is African.' Then they'll tell you to come in and they'll set up an appointment for you." Apparently, African babies grow a little more "ripe" as she put it, so he really should be here by the tenth.
6) But in her opinion, he's not coming before the 4th, either. So hey! All is good! C'mon June 8!
7) As I was leaving, she said, "Make the most of these last two weeks. Clean the house!" It occured to me that she obviously knows her clients well, as I am sure that's what at least 80% of us do maniacally in our remaining weeks. My house is clean, but I'm cleaning it again next weekend, for sure.
I have always wanted to be a crafty person. Kdogg is psychotically crafty, and I might have mild jealousy attacks because of it from time to time. My sister is also quite the craftswoman - she even has a Craft Corner in her basement that sort of makes me ache inside. Both of these ladies have produced some fine, fine things over the years using their skills, creativity, and a certain degree of elbow grease. And sure, I've picked up knitting and am sort of working on sewing now. I have honed my cooking skills and have on occasion come up with a funky idea or two. But mainly, I am far, far from the craftiness level of my dreams.
I would also like to be the person who knows where to get the bargains, who really searches out the good deals. This person is not so much crafty as he/she is a discount maven, although the two can overlap. In fact, in my fantasy life I hunt out the deal and then make something crafty with whatever goods I have purchased.
With Romulus' arrival, I've become a bit of a bargain hunter and a bit of a crafty type, and I like where this is taking me. So here are a few aspects of both:
Read more »I just called up the French social security people because I'm starting to freak a little about my paperwork and... surprise, surprise: there's a document missing! They need a photocopy of my birth certificate. Nobody thought to tell me this, and my entire file has been put on hold until I send it in, so GRRRRRR. On hold for three weeks when somebody could have let me know. I'm seriously beginning to wonder if any French administrative body can get something right the first time around. OR, I have another bizarre idea: they could call me to tell me when something is missing, instead of just waiting around for me to call them. I suppose they just want their 0,12 cts/minute.
So I am off to the sécu -- again -- today.
Meanwhile, I have 50 euros left in my bank account because my 200 euros worth of health care reimbursements have, of course, also been put on hold. AWESOME! Why did I have to pay for them in advance, you ask? Because the sécu has my carte vitale, of course. In my blocked file.
I swear, I am taking this all in stride. No bitterness whatsoever.
Otherwise, I have a make-up class for Arabic at school tonight, but I am thinking of skipping it. The class is from 6:30 to 8:30 and I am now officially lifeless 7:00 on. Something about painful wooden seats on this hot, annoying day is just not speaking to my inner student. Plus, I have the same class again at 9 tomorrow morning. I loves me some Arabic but I think I'd rather stay in tonight and do my homework for tomorrow rather than do the 45-minute trek to and fro for a 2-hr class we can't technically be required to go to. This is my favorite class of all my classes, and I get that giddy feeling of inspiration from the professor almost each class, but too much is too much.
I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I'm a grump. And I'm swelling! It's hot and humid and my body is pissed about it. And last night I got bit by some bug in my house, so I have a huge swollen thing on the top of my foot, making it impossible to wear anything but flip flops. AND! My cute spring/summer maternity dress has a big spot on it I wasn't aware of, or I absolutely would have washed it with the last load of laundry. So no mega comfy clothes for this hot weather just yet.
Right now I would really love to be in my parents' basement with the dog on my lap, a movie in the DVD player, and the remote control in my hand, lime-flavored sparkling water by my side. It's the ultimate in comfort zone in my head. Plus, they have air conditioning.
Maybe I'll go to the movies this afternoon. It's the closest I can get. :)
On a positive note, we are now safely in Gemini territory, by all accounts. This is good, as air signs get along with other air signs, so it looks like baby and I will be friends.
My computer just died. It won't turn on -- it is just completely fried. It was a crappy computer assembled using used parts and The Boy's insane ability to build computers, and it lasted me six years. It was time to say goodbye. But still, what am I going to do now? I am using The Boy's laptop for now, but this is not going to fly as a long-term solution, and I just can't up and buy a new computer any time soon. This really, really sucks.
Second, I baked a loaf of bread last night and then was too tired to put the second loaf in the oven (takes an hour to bake) so I saved the second half of batter to be cooked today. This morning at seven, I thought, "Nice warm bread would be delish," so I popped the remaining batter in the oven and set the timer. I forgot, however, to set the oven's temp and I burned the CRAP out of it. Hence why you should not bake bread at seven in the morning, contrary to what all the Parisian bakeries would have you believe.
The house is still in a bit of a state right now -- I put together the chair and crib and so forth, did some laundry, etc. But I've got more to do today, so that's my plan. Plus, ever notice how doing these sorts of projects makes you realize how many other projects need to be done? Just moving furniture reveals entire universes of dust that you might not have known existed.
So we rented the car and did The Ikea Thing today, which is exhausting in every way possible. It was great, grand even. When The Boy and I went to Ikea a few months back, we made the terrible mistake of going on a Sunday. May I just say, for the record, that I will never again go on a weekend. The place was empty today, and just so much more pleasant. But: exhausting. However, I got away with a few good things and didn't completely bust my pocketbook, so all is well.
That said, I will not get out of bed for the rest of the evening. I will also not, I repeat NOT, attempt to assemble anything until tomorrow. My body is just wrecked from the day, no matter how much I enjoyed it.
Here's my thing, though: Ikea provides a delivery service, which I thought would be worth the 50 euros because I am eight months pregnant, and they delivery the next day. I live up four flights of stairs which, granted, are far better than my previous six flights, but still... I didn't want to be carrying heavy objects up all those stairs.
Kathypath came with me for the adventure and I began wavering on the delivery issue while we were in line. Could I lure her into helping me carry things with the promise of fresh-baked zucchini bread? She is one of the kindest people on Earth, so of course she would have helped me - and smiled while doing it - but still I felt it was a lot to ask. I mean, she already made the whole trek out there with me and everything, why add manual labor the equation? She's my friend and I would like her to remain my friend.
Eventually, I gave up and decided to opt for the delivery, mainly because we were seriously behind schedule and were worried about making it home in time with all of our purchases. Having to add in several trips up and down stairs with the clunkier objects would slow us down even more. So I stood in line, then set up the delivery info, and just a few steps before payment, the Ikea employee says to me, "However, we don't carry items up stairs. We will leave them in your downstairs hallway."
And with that, we left.
Once there was no choice in the matter, we saw that saving the 50 euros was the better option, but still. What good would it do to leave those things in my hallway?
Poor Kathypath was staring down the barrel of a loaded gun, thinking she would have to carry the crib up the four flights to my house (yes, bought the cheap-o crib which, oddly, was my favorite crib in the place. I guess I'm cheap.). But then, THEN! My neighbor opened his door and said, "Do you girls need help? She shouldn't be carrying things," (looking at me) and the dear sweet man carried up all of the heavy boxes himself. That left us to carry a few light but bulky items (crib mattress, etc).
50 euros saved and eternal love to the Neighbor Man! What an angel. I might just bake him cookies. We couldn't stop saying, "You're so nice! Thank you! This is really nice of you!"
So tomorrow is going to be a great day. After running around for so many days in a row, tomorrow is my day to "nest," no matter how much I hate the term. I'm going to start setting things up, and run some laundry so that Romulus will have some clean and sparkly new clothes waiting for him. I'm also going to pack my hospital bag, as the midwife has asked me about my bag at my last two appointments and I have semi-lied in saying that it's mostly ready to go (I still have to go get the actual bag out of storage, much less pack it). I'm going to re-wire my computer and TV set up to make room for my new chair, and then I am going to go on an organizational extravaganza with my clear plastic bin goodness picked up from Ikea today.
I've intentionally saved up tons of talk radio programs, so and NPR and This American Life marathon is ready to roll. I feel like this is my first true day off in a long time, and I can't wait to spend it setting up shop around here.
When my parents asked how I was doing over the weekend, I told them, "Good, but I'm slowing down some." A few different outings over the last week have made me aware of my own physical limits -- it's weird to feel like doing things but to have to take into consideration that my body is going to give out at some point. It's like a preview of old age, I suppose.
In the end, I'm still feeling great. I don't have aches and pains, no heartburn, no sleeping troubles. Nothing concrete to complain of, in all honesty. I just notice that I can't hold up as long as usual -- I get a little achy and sore by the end of the day and I start to dream of putting my feet up. This is frustrating for me, but I am learning to enjoy remaining reclined for a good portion of every evening.
Today I completely overdid myself. This morning I had a birthing class, which itself is about a 15 minute walk from the metro. Afterwards, I walked another 20 mins or so to my medical lab to run some tests. By the time I finished, I was starving, but I didn't have enough time to make a trip home worth it -- I had about three hours to kill before my Arabic class, but it takes me an hour to get from my house to class alone. So instead I hopped on the bus to visit Vegas, who works near my classes. That entailed another 15 minute walk or so. He wasn't around, so I walked up to an Asian restaurant and had lunch by myself, and then decided to kill some time in the bookstore. I walked another ten minutes back to Vegas' shop and he still was nowhere to be found, and I had conveniently left my cell phone at home. By this point, I had two hours to kill and I was desperately needing a place to sit. Having already spent money on lunch, I didn't want to splurge for coffee, but I didn't want to spend my remaining time sitting on the stiff benches of the Sorbonne.
Instead, I had a stroke of genius. My back was making me wince by this point, so my main goal was to get somewhere with comfortable chairs. God, if only I could watch a movie right now, I thought. And, almost as a reflex, I turned right and headed towards one of the local theaters where I have an unlimited movie pass.
I showed up about ten minutes late for "Jesus Camp" but I had actually already seen the beginning, so it wasn't too big of a deal. The theater only had three other people in it, so I could stretch out and get reeeaaalllly comfortable. It was the best feeling ever. The movie was interesting -- although freaky -- but mainly I was happy to be sitting in a warm place for 90 minutes.
Afterwards, I had another four hours of classes and then I took the bus back to my neighborhood. I stopped by the grocery store and picked up the fixings for two VERY simple meals. One is for tonight, as I am way too tired to cook much of anything.
The other is for tomorrow, when I am sure to come home in a similar state. I have rented a car to make the second pilgrammage to Ikea -- I need to pick up some very boring things like: plastic boxes, a mat for under the office chair to protect the wood floors, dishtowels. I am also thinking of getting one of those uber cheap but comfy chairs Ikea has made so popular, as nothing in my house has arm rests and I am thinking a good chair is a worthwhile investment. And then I might get a crib.
HA HA HA: Edited to add: I fell asleep while writing this entry last night. So it's getting cut off there. But ha! I actually fell asleep with the laptop on the bed and woke up around midnight thinking I should probably turn it off.
One of my favorite things to do when I am studying Arabic is to turn the radio (via internet) to the Arab music channel. Sure, I can't understand most of what they're saying, but you get a nice sampling of music and some language exposure to boot. Plus, it just corresponds to my subject, and it sets the mood while not distracting me in any way.
Romulus is normally very mellow late afternoon/early evening, which is generally when I study, but he woke up today while while I was listening to my regular program. He threw a little dance-off in there, and I thought to myself, A new meaning to belly dancing! Then I chuckled, repeated it out loud alone in my house ("Heh heh. Belly dancing!!"), and then considered the possibility that I was losing my mind.
Also, this morning I woke up screaming -- literally -- from a Charlie horse (should Charlie be capitalized there?). I know they are common in pregnancy, and I have already had a few, but nothing compared to this whopper. I didn't even care if I freaked out my neighbors. It was seven-thirty and I was straight up howling in pain. It then took me at least half an hour to work my way over to the bathroom -- and I was technically in a rush to get there. I have been hobbling ever since.
The hobbling is particularly amusing because I haven't been so much the pregnant waddler thus far. Today, I got to be her, but for totally different reasons: namely, the uselessness of my left foot. While out and about today, I wanted to put a sign around myself:
"It's not that I'm pregnant, it's just my broken calf muscle!"
At any rate, I did the grocery shopping and decided that was enough activity for the day, as it included walking to the further grocery store several blocks away (and back). It's amazing how severe one little (massive, though, let's be honest) leg cramp can incapacitate you for the day.
Yesterday was my last day of work. I'm going to go in on occasion until the 18th if my boss requests it (we have a handy payment arrangement for that, too) but I'm no longer required to go in regularly. This is just the best setup ever, because I didn't feel like I was officially saying goodbye for a few months, but I technically don't have to work anymore, either. Alright!
I really do love my job and feel blessed to say so. It was weirdly sad cleaning out my desk and handing over a few key responsibilities. But still: yay for maternity leave! I celebrated this morning by sleeping in until 7.45!
I also found out that my Arabic exams are going to be a week earlier than I thought they were. Depending on how things progress, I might be able to make it to my finals after all. That would be awesome... I know that at this point I could pass them with just a bit of studying. If, however, I have to take them in September, the task will be a bit more complicated. Languages have a tendency to leak out of the brain when not in use. I would be so happy if I could successfully finish out the year before Romulus makes his appearance; it would just be one less thing to worry about during his early months. Plus, I think I'd be proud of myself for pulling it all off this year: work, school, pregnancy.
We'll see, as there's not much I can do about it either way. The exams are June 4 -- same day my parents get here -- and maybe I'll feel too crappy by then to sit and write Arabic for three hours. Or maybe I'll already have a baby at the house. But, ideally, I'm hoping for Romulus to wait for Grandma and Grandpa to get here before he shows up, and if I keep feeling as good as I have up til now, I might just be able to handle the exams.
In other unrelated news: I can't stop watching "Six Feet Under." What a kooky show.
A whopper of a day yesterday.
First, The Boy and I got in a big, completely ridiculous fight. This is our first fight in months, as we have been very careful with one another's emotions recently. At first, the fight was upsetting, and then about 20 minutes into it, I found it so comical that I actually started to semi-laugh through the "fighting." Sometimes the things that set off arguments are so absurd! I had one of those moments where I said to myself, "This fight makes no sense. Just let him freak out and then see what happens." So he freaked out and packed another bag that would be part of his long, long process of moving out of this house. A bag full of paperwork and CDs mind you, so I knew he'd be coming back in the evening. I figured we could deal with everything then, when we were both a little more sane, and not screaming at each other because I suggested he use a different pair of scissors to cut his toe bandages (that was what set the whole thing off..).
Meanwhile, I was supposed to be at Rebecca's around 4 pm. The "fight" happened around 3:00, so I sent her a text message letting her know I would be a little late, and I eventually left my house at quarter to four. Walking down my street, I saw my bus pull away from the curb. Great, I thought, I'm already a little late but now I have to wait another 15 minutes for the bus. Just my luck.
But sitting there in the sun at the bus stop, I felt great. The temperature was perfect, and the sunlight on my face was warm and comfortable. I thought a lot about what had just happened with The Boy, and I was weirdly calmed by our argument and his reaction. I was a little out of sorts because of what had happened, but not at all upset. I can't explain it. Rebecca called to make sure everything was ok and I said, "Yeah, yeah... I'll explain when I get there. It was all pretty stupid."
I got there about 4.20 and knocked on the door, which opened to a chorus of "SURPRISE!" from a group of friends. I was totally shocked, I had NO idea they were planning anything for me. Plus, clearly my mood was not ready for a surprise party. But that turned around quickly -- it's amazing what a group of smiling friends can do for your spirits. I was so , so touched -- it really was a great feeling and I am so thankful to my friends for throwing the little party together. I had been saying for awhile that I wouldn't have a shower, and I gathered this was a hastily thrown together deal, but it was just my style. A few friends, some food, and a couple gifts -- nothing fancy but wonderful all the same. I loved it.
They bought me a little assortment of gifts, and one present even showed up at the shower via New York, and then there was the massive and totally appreciated mega-gift of a stroller. Kathypath picked it out, and she did an awesome job -- she chose the exact stroller I would have gotten! I am so happy -- I had said on a few different occasions that I would want to get a stroller but that I didn't want to deal with it yet, that I would just have to wait until after the birth. As I said to Kathy on the way home, "I was just going to wait to deal with the stroller until I had to. But then it took care of itself! If only everything in life were so easy!" I love that every time I use it, I will be able to think about what great friends I have. It made me a little sad that my family couldn't be there, and that some of my closest friends from the US are so far away, but it was wonderful to be surrounded by my Parisian "family" for an afternoon.
We closed up shop quickly because most of us were in a hurry to get home in time for the election results. What a wild day: the fight, the party, the results. I think everybody knew Sarkozy would win, but he just seems like such an improbable face to represent France. I mean, the man doesn't smile so much. He grimaces and we see some teeth, but I am not sure if I would qualify that as a smile. Still, esthetics aside, his presidency will mark a huge difference for France, and we'll see what kind of changes he brings about -- for better or for worse.
When I got home, The Boy wasn't around but he also got back in time for the elections. We discussed everything that had happened in the morning quickly, in the haste before the election results, and we both laughed a bit over it. Really, the whole scene could have been out of a movie, in the end, but it still has some meaning with regards to our relationship. I thought we should clear the air some, which we did and it felt good. Technically, he is still going to have to move out a lot of his stuff to make way for the baby anyway (he moved out his stereo, for example, because we have two in this house) so his little freak-out couldn't have happened at a better time. He also checked out the new stroller and approves, and then we spent the evening chilling together and watching the election coverage, before I passed out around eleven.
A real whirlwind. But good. Wonderful, even.
Here it is: the big milestone. I have no idea why 36 weeks was stuck in my head as the moment I would be Really Pregnant, but it was. And now I'm here. And time is still moving forward. Incredible.
I still feel great, but with the semi-maternity leave starting (I have to go back to work for a few days next week, but I'm ok with that. Eases the transition, I think), I am noticing that I am getting a sort of panicky need to get things set up for Romulus. When I mention this, everybody smiles that annoying oh-the-joys-of-pregnancy smile and says, "Somebody's nesting!" in an obnoxious tone (you know the one). Nesting is, officially, a term I hate, alongside the terms "preggers" and "preggo."
I mean, I GUESS it can be considered "nesting" to feel like your newborn baby should have a place to sleep. But why all that "Oh she's nesting!" goofiness when, seriously, it just makes sense to want to have a few basics? I think I'm just a little more stressed about it than most because I don't have a whole lot of cash, so I am trying to get the most out of what I spend. All I can say is, for all of my bitching about France, they are AWESOME to new mamas. I just got my prime de naissance last week and it is the only thing that is making any sort of purchases even possible. Thank you, CAF! Still, I am going to be very vigilant with my money, as I know I will have many more purchases to come.
Which brings me to my next question: what is the difference between, say, the Ikea crib I saw for 40 euros and the 450-euro crib I saw at Aubert? Wood quality aside, I mean. Am I missing something here? I can clearly see a difference in pricing as applied to strollers, for example, because they can come with all kinds of bells and whistles. But cribs? What makes one crib worth ten times the price of another?
In the end, I guess I am "nesting" as people seem to like to say, because I am hoping to get finish everything that needs to be done as far as getting things set up at the casa in the next two weeks. I have two reasons for this:
First, because as of next week, Romulus could technically decide to appear and it would be a-ok. I would be up shit creek if he did that, as literally all I have for him to date is one bag of disposible diapers, a few cloth diapers, one ROCKIN blanket and a shit ton of onesies. In other words: no bathtub, nowhere to sleep, and no butt cream. He has one drawer in my dresser and that is all. If you came into my house today, you'd have no idea a baby is on the way. That's ok, but since there actually IS a baby on the way, maybe I should start working on that...
Second, I can tell my energy to be out and about is waning, mainly because I have so much pressure on my pelvis at all times. My legs get stiff and it makes it hard for me to make a full stride. This is not super painful, but it does get annoying. Sometimes it is better than others, and overall I am still motoring almost as fast as usual. But when I start stiffening up, it can start to really hurt, and there's no solution other than to sit back and put my feet up for an hour or two. For now, it's not bothering me too much, but I had a terrifying thought today while out shopping: It's only going to get worse from here until D Day. In other words, I should really get stuff done now, just in case I start feeling like crap. I have a hard time seeing myself feeling better at week 39 than week 36, you know? He's only going to pork up in there, and drop lower, and thus disturb my walk even further.
So yeah, I guess I just feel like getting some stuff done. I belong to an online forum with a bunch of other ladies due in June, and they are so ahead of the game. They've already packed their hospital bags (I don't have half the stuff they suggest you bring), taken pictures of their nurseries (yeah, well... I'll just have a corner of my bedroom set up at some point...), bought their travel systems, and some are even starting to prepare frozen foods for the few days immediately after giving birth.
Ha! I'm just working on the first two and will be deeply, deeply satisfied when those are taken care of.
Kdogg has come and gone, hence my lack of updates. I wouldn't say we were uber-busy, but just having somebody else around meant that computer time was limited. We did a lot of lazing around in the mornings, and then by mid- or late-afternoon we would usually start in on some activity (generally involving a lot of walking) which would tide us over to dinner. Of course, I had to go to work or school a few times, but she was able to entertain herself when that was the case (and I had worked around my schedule so that I had Friday afternoon off, so it wasn't too bad). It was a very laid-back visit and the week just flew by. She left this morning and I am spending the day catching up on a variety of tasks, the next of which will be a thorough cleaning of the house.
Kdogg also taught me to sew a little, and we made the cutest little BRIGHT ORANGE outfit for little Romulus. It's not perfect, but I am pretty happy with how it turned out. It's a fleece ensemble with little mitten hands and a itty bitty hat (from the red pattern -- without all those appliqués -- at the bottom of this page). So cute! Plus, it's the first real thing I've managed to sew, and we whipped it up pretty quickly. It's definetly given me more confidence for the future. I've got a second pattern I would like to tackle in the coming weeks, but I am having a bit of a hard time finding the right material. It seems all I can find around town is deco material -- it's hard to find sweatshirt, terry cloth, etc. Any Parisians have a good address?
Otherwise, I went to the doctor last week. Besides gaining a little too much weight, everything looks perfect. I'm still feeling great, and have been able to maintain my activity levels without too much difficulty. I can feel that I am a little heavy on my feet -- my only complaint is that my legs are a little sore where they attach to my pelvis, but the doctor says it's normal and is most likely due to the baby's position. The more active I am, the better they feel, usually feeling the worst when I first start moving for the day. I'm still sleeping through the night, my back is doing fine, and I am able to concentrate and keep with it without any troubles. It's awesome. At this point, I am still enjoying the pregnancy and, from what I gather, it's a bit unusual to still feel so good, so I am counting my blessings.
The Boy has had a bit of a miserable week, however, as he got some sort of toe infection and his big toe ballooned to about three times its normal size. It was completely disgusting, but, mysteriously, despite going to the ER, a doctor's, and a clinic, he was not able to get it treated. At each place, he waited 4 - 6 hours to see someone, only to be told "Sorry, we can't help you." Yesterday, somebody finally had mercy on him and did a sort of mini-operation -- now his foot is all bandaged up and he's hopped up on painkillers. Thank God, too, because he is much more pleasant than he was on the extra-strength aspirin the hospital originally prescribed.
Oh! And! I'm super amazed because I went to the social security office and the woman was REALLY friendly and incredibly competent, and I was able to get all of my paperwork taken care of in one visit. It was totally shocking, and Kdogg said afterwards, "I don't see why you complain so much about French administration, that seemed really smooth..." and I said, stupefied, "Yeah, it was. What was that about?" Fortunately, we went to the post office a few days later and she was able to witness French incompetence at its finest, so she knows I am not making this stuff up. But STILL, I'm so happy that the dreaded social security visit went ok and everything seems to be en route for my maternity leave pay. ALRIGHT!
Can I also say that hot weather + coconut sorbet = deliciousness.
