And... we're back

So that was interesting, as I thought it would be. Completely exhausting. If we don't see another train for weeks, I'd be delighted. We spent all of our time plotting routes, running for trains, waiting for buses, driving in cars, or sitting in traffic. Not to sound like a spoiled brat, but I need a vacation from our vacation. It is so very very difficult to pack so much movement into ten days with a three-year-old in tow.

There was also a huge emotional component to the trip that I can't quite wrap my head around yet. Midway through our travels, I got to meet up briefly with Julie at the train station, after hours of staying up worrying about Teo's dad and what not. She mentioned that she was planning on eventually returning to the U.S., and she added that she feels her identity is no longer tied to France. It was interesting for me to hear her say that because I had spent a good portion of the wee hours dwelling on that exact issue: for years and years, I thought France defined who I was. Then I left, felt completely disoriented, and eventually got over it and established my life in Portland. That leads to the strangest feeling upon returning to the country. I feel both so at home and so estranged in Paris now... The main realization I had is that I don't miss it or want to be there, and in fact see little reason to return for many years. That's fantastic, because it means our family can take vacations to newer, more exciting places.

It's Saturday now, and we have been back almost a week. I am so happy to be home! I think we're finally over the jet lag and life is returning to normal. I went through a minor wave of sadness over the last few days, probably all associated with the drama unfurling with Teo's papa (which I won't get in to here any more than I already have). The weather has been weird and I have just been out of sorts...

But now the sun is out and we have a busy weekend ahead of us. Even more exciting, our wedding is just three solid weeks away! I can't wait. In the meantime, I hope to do some more bike riding, attend my sewing workshop, and work hard in my ASL class. Things are mellowing out, finally, and I am ready to fully enjoy the summer!