This has been my first week of truly living the single mama experience. Sure, I have been alone in raising Teo since about month two, but I've always been surrounded by people and have had tons of free time. This is his first week of full-time day care and my first week of a full-time job. Our first week of not really having support around in the mornings or even all that much in the evenings. It is very, VERY hard. It is so difficult that I don't even have the time to be lonely yet, though I could see how eventually I might get there. Right now, I am just too darn busy.
Today is Friday and we were to have a big of a wine-n-cheese gathering at the end of the day at work. Excited to finally meet my coworkers in a less work-related setting, I wrapped up my final meeting for the day and went back to my desk. On my cell phone was a message from Mateo's day care. It turns out he had (and still has) a fever and needed to come home. So I told my boss that I was sorry and I ducked out early.
These are the kinds of breaks that single moms just don't get to take. I work 8:15 to 5:15 and I spend much of my morning and evening dropping off and picking up the little guy. There is no relief -- there just isn't. I think the day to day part is not that complicated, it is just intimidating and a little overwhelming when you consider the situation waiting for you all the way down the line.
This weekend we have to drive out to an urgent care clinic outside the city to get Teo's ears checked, per his doctor's request last week. She said they seemed to be clearing but recommended I verify the infection had completely disappeared. Again, I can't take the time off work, so that is how we will spend our Saturday. Although I am not happy Mateo is sick today, at least his timing is good as we have to visit the doctor anyway. My poor baby is just looking so much like a sack of potatoes, I could cry.
Also, I have no idea about American corporate culture. I just found out what a brownbag is, for example. I have done a lot of guess work as to what certain words mean, and I am very grateful for context and the power of the nod. I am getting there, but there is a very steep learning curve here.
So this weekend is going to be all about catch up. I am taking Mateo to the doctor and am looking to get the groceries I need for next week. I still need some boring things for the house: a few garbage cans, envelopes, little sticky things to go on the chairs so they won't scratch the floor. During Mateo's naps, I will work. It will be a wild, wild weekend for sure.
I thought last night about dating, and how that is a goal of mine for one of these days. I have absolutely no idea how that will ever even be a possibility. It's actually pretty amusing when I think about it. Sad, in some ways, I suppose, but at least for the moment it is just funny, funny, funny.
Hang in there... xoxo
Hang in there... xoxo
Hang in there... xoxo
Oh ma belle, Courage!
The first week in a job isn't always the hardest, but it is ALWAYS the most tiring. You're tackeling 3 biggies at once: bumpkin, boulot and boxes. With each week things will become easier, I promise. Sending you lot of , well, energy and courage!
just wanted to say two things: 1)i think you are inspiring and it is so interesting to read the first-hand account of a professional single mom; 2)i bet you're so glad to be living in a country where the grocery store and pharmacy are open on sundays!
it'll stay tough for a while. but take heart: you can do it. The important thing will be finding a support group of some kind (this can also help with finding the occasional babysitter). If nothing else, perhaps you can find something online.
Also? My recommendation as a mother with older children but who felt like a single mother when the kids were small (husband was hopeless and took night classes to avoid the children and his tired and raging harpy wife). Treat yourself. Pamper yourself. Make a conscious effort to be good to yourself. At least once a month, find a sitter and take yourself off to the movies (yes, alone. Alone is fun, pinky swear.). Or get a facial. Do not, and I repeat, do not neglect yourself. It's okay to be selfish from time to time.
Poor little T. Bummer about the ear.
You are totally amazing. I could never do all this.
lol about the office lingo. Don�t they know you�ve been lost in Francelation?!