Happy Five Months!

Oh my God, Teo, you are a giant. We established this over the weekend when you met your tiny peanut of a cousin. As Grandpa said, "You were a baby on Friday and by the time the trip was over, you were a five year old." In comparison to her, you suddenly doubled in size, or so it seems.

You and I have been through some serious changes over this last month, and I have to give you credit for weathering the storm with a smile. And a giggle. Oh the giggles! We got a bunch of them in a row while Grandma, Grandpa, mama and you all shared a very cozy hotel room. You were doing the full belly laughs and just having a ball -- now I want every night to end on a laughing note. I would do almost anything for that chuckle.

But yes, you have been an amazing baby with all of the traveling and jostling around we have put you through. It seems that every time you fall asleep, I have to get you out of the car seat or the stroller or the wherever just to truck you along to our next stop. You have flown more in the last month than most people do in a year, and, short of a few crying spells just before you fall asleep, you have been an excellent little jet setter. Unfamiliar places and people are not of much concern to you, and I am happy to see that you are the kind of baby who smiles at strangers. This part of your personality seems to be exploding this month, and I can't wait to see more of who you are.

This past weekend, after meeting the peanut, I got a little nostalgic about those early days with you. I was telling your aunt that it seems like raising a baby is all about the difficult nights during those first few weeks, and then, somewhere along the line, it becomes about the daytime care. You are such an active and alert baby -- you want to get your hands into everything -- and this is only getting more and more pronounced as your coordination develops. I am exhausted much of the time, as just maintaining you on a lap is sometimes more work than holding you upright and walking around a room. The action just never stops with you, and I am building up some serious biceps. Did I mention that you are huge?

On Saturday, we taught you to make a little farting noise with your lips, and then Grandpa and I spent at least ten minutes doing it back and forth while you responded. Seeing you go from not knowing how to do something to putting on your I-can-do-this! face was pretty neat, and it makes me think you're going to be a pretty determined little muchacho. I can't wait to see what this month brings.

Your uncle is a great dad, and I loved seeing him interact with his own daughter as well as with you. I'll admit to getting a little sad about how things have worked out with your papa -- not for my sake but for yours. I know you are surrounded by amazing men in this family, but nobody can replace a dad. Not even a mom who is determined to do the most she can. I don't quite know what to do about this. I have an odd mixture of guilt and sadness over it, I guess I feel like I am already starting you off at a disadvantage. You're a tough kid and I know it, and I am trying to be tough for you, too.

I can see you are on your way to eating solid foods, sitting up, and all kinds of big-boy things. It amazes me to think how quickly you have grown. We have a bit of a rocky road ahead of us -- what with the newness of everything and all -- but I am so glad we are going down it together. You really are one amazing little guy.

Every morning, we wake up together and I look at your big brown eyes and say, "Good morning Mateo!' in a groggy but excited voice. You give me a huge, gummy grin and I get all gooey from your cuteness. Every. Single. Time. I don't think that's ever going to get old.