Goodbye

I hope that I am lucky enough to grow old with somebody.

If I've done anything right, maybe that person would be like my grandpa. During visits, I've always been amazed at how much attention he gives me grandma. It is beautiful to see. Pulling up to a restaurant in the car, he would insist on opening her door and helping her to the front door. Not so steady himself, I guess he always figured that, even if he is a little wobbly on his feet, a true gentleman is a gentleman for life.

And that's what he was. Grandpa died on Monday. He was in his 90's and, I think, pretty much ready to go. Of course, if I could buy him some more time I would, and I would go visit him and watch him hold my grandma's hand one more time. Maybe he could fall asleep during another story, or tell us one of his own in his Minnesota accent. Life was slow and simple for him at the end, and we are all grateful that my grandparents were both in decent enough health to be able to stay together, in their own home, for so long.

My family has all flown out to take care of things out there, and to help my grandma who is going to have a tough go of things without her Howard. Although I think we were all braced for this, I am just so sad about it. My grandpa was an amazing sweetheart, and I will miss him.

On a personal note, I am struck by how much this has driven home the fact that I have been so far from my family for so long. I guess the distance doesn't feel so strong until it becomes an obstacle. Now more than ever, I am glad I have made the decision to return to be nearer to my parents and siblings, even if that just means being on the same continent if not in the same city.

I wish I could be with them now.