Ninjas on the go

I've gotten lots of calls and emails since my last big announcement, and if I haven't thanked you personally yet -- well, thanks. I'm touched by all the people who care. Of course, my friends Stateside discuss the whole topic far more enthusiastically than those who are here in France, but that is to be expected. My parents called me three times in the three days following my post, once or twice to talk "logistics." I think they just want to get me over there quickly before I change my mind.

I won't.

I talked to Vegas today and told him my plans, and there was a bit of an awkward silence on the other end while he absorbed the news (he is a bit dramatic, I might add). Oddly, he told me that he had just been speaking to somebody else, and that somebody else had just spoken to my boss that morning. I guess my boss was raving about me to this guy, and so word got through that I am really the bee's knees. Vegas said, "So I am sure that he'd be willing to do whatever he needs to in order for you to stay..." It sort of hit me just then that, even if it were possible, I wouldn't want to go for it. I am tired of climbing uphill unnecessarily. Now that I have made my decision to leave, I am just done - DONE! - dealing with French administrative bullshit. It's as if the steam just came right out of me, and I can no longer muster the enthusiasm needed to make it even sort of work here. And man oh man, what a relief it is to recognize that I don't have to deal with the administration again. I mean, I'll still have things to do around here and I'm sure I'll run into some paperwork disaster at some point, but at least the weightiness of having to go through so much year after year has been lifted right up off my shoulders. And damn if that doesn't feel awesome.

As for me and The Boy, things are going well. He's still at the apartment; at some point I'll either have to kick him out or set a deadline. I'm just kidding. Sort of. For right now he is spending time with Teo and I think that's his right, but I do think we need to make the separation complete at some point down the road. All things considered, we did this in the best way possible. We still love one another and will remain friends, and we're clearly forever bonded by our son. But I think we both just know it isn't working out between the two of us as a couple, and, now that we have admitted that to ourselves, it's like we can suddenly live easy and get along like normal people should. That feels good and right.

A lot of people are worrying about me and reaching out to me, and for that, I am truly grateful. I am also happy to report that, for right now, I am doing great. I know things are going to be pretty rough at some point down the line, but I feel good about my decisions and am actually getting excited about this next step in my (and Teo's) life.

It's a biggie.

Good thing I can bring my little ninja along for the ride.