Whirlwind

Well, my dawgs have come and gone... it was so, so awesome having them here. However, there is a definite difference between being in your late twenties and hoping to make the most of Paris while on vacation, as opposed to being in your late twenties and seven months pregnant and in the middle of exams. All things considered, I held up very well. But the proof that I couldn't have kept the madness up much longer lies in these two facts:

1. I almost fell asleep while watching "Grey's Anatomy" the day after their departure (crime of all crimes!) and
2. I actually DID fall asleep at eight o'clock the following evening. And woke up at seven am. THAT'S 11 HOURS.

I went through a slight dip in morale after their departure, partially because it is normal to feel the sudden shift in energy levels but also partially because I had been putting off thinking about a lot of things while they were here that I didn't necessarily want to think about. Nothing like hilarious conversation and constant activity to distract you for a solid week. No worries, though: the slump lasted 48 hours -- at least 20 of which I spent sleeping, and now I am back on target.

Two things have helped with this.

The first is that my job has picked up in momentum. My boss managed to procure some Very Fancy Art and has had me calling Very Important People in Important Cities like London and New York to find out about said Fancy Art's worth. This is totally insane to me, as I am not the type to call up and ask about important artworks, but here I am. Doing it. I've conquered a fair amount of I'm-not-good-enough demons this week, basically forcing myself to get over my meekness and just act like I know what I'm doing. (shhh -- I think I fooled them!)

The second is that I went to see the midwife today. At my birthing center, 80% of your prenatal care is done by the midwives, and you sort of meet them on a rotating basis. I didn't have such a good experience with the last one, mainly because she would not let the subject of The Boy and his lack of enthusiasm drop. I know that they're supposed to treat the whole person and not neglect the potential emotional and psychological factors at play. But I also just didn't feel like telling her all about the drama, and overall didn't vibe with her at all. And then when she said, "We should slow down. Am I talking too fast for you?" I actually thought I might get a little huffy with her. I didn't, but still. I didn't want all of my midwife experiences to be like that.

Today's midwife was a whole other story. I just can't explain her energy. She was so calming and soothing, and I felt like I could tell her anything and she would have had just the right response. In fact, I did tell her a fair amount more than the previous midwife, and she was great about it. Clearly, she has chosen the right career. Plus, she gave me the good news that I have only gained half a kilo since my last visit, so my weight gain is now right on target. The irony being, of course, that I had completely stopped watching over what I eat. So it goes to show that your body is going to do whatever it's going to do; might as well relax about it and have an extra helping of granola.

I'm getting put on iron supplements as she thinks I might be slightly anemic (it seems like I ALWAYS am) and then I have to go through the not-so-pleasant gestational diabetes test next week. But otherwise, all is good.

She asked me today, "So, is the father tall?"

"Yes," I answered, "Just a little bit taller than me. But much thinner!"

She laughed and said, "You're going to have such a beautiful baby."

And I don't know why, but it was the first time anybody has said that to me where I really got excited -- almost like she was capable of predicting that sort of thing as a midwife, nevermind the fact that she has never met The Boy. It was something in her tone, and the way she said it as she was searching along my belly to see where he was -- something I couldn't quite place that made me actually believe she knew it already. It made me positively giddy.

I really, really hope she delivers little Romulus. I would love to have someone so calm there with me. According to my friend who also gave birth at this birthing center, the only people in the delivery room are the mama, the papa (or partner/friend/support type), the midwife, and a newborn nurse. She says it's very intimate -- and I can see how it would be more so than in a big hospital with 12 interns staring at your crotch hoping to learn something. So I would love it if I could be working alongside somebody who makes me feel confident and calm; and I believe the midwife from today would do so.