Tonight I had my informational meeting at my birthing center. It was an exhausting day (oral exam in the am, worked all afternoon, meeting in pm) but I felt I should go, just in case there was anything that I didn't catch by reading the information pamphlet they handed out when I signed up.
There wasn't. But at least I tried.
The main thing I got from the adventure was that:
1. Most women are accompanied. It's very cool to be one of two girls flying solo.
2. The Frenchies seem to know next to nothing about their bodies. Maybe it was all an act, I don't know. But I mean, they were so high-strung and over-practical about things like breastfeeding, and I'm thinking, "Ok, there are only three of us who are actually even showing. Wait until the breastfeeding class to ask your breastfeeding questions." We're going to have a whole series of classes -- at least five in all -- and there is plenty of time to cover these topics. But they were already wondering if they could start mixing formula and breastmilke at two-and-a-half-months. As if they had already pulled out their agendas and marked a day to start mixing. Very weird.
3. I should have been an OB/GYN because apparently I have all the terminology down.
The guy running the session was an old '68-er (he would not let that fact drop) and he used the informal "tu" with everybody in the room. I was sort of uncomfortable with this at the beginning, but then again I realized that if I'm going to go to the hippie birthing center, they probably want to make us feel "at home" from the start. So then I started appreciating him and his ways, and I decided I ended up choosing a pretty good place to have the baby.
One interesting thing was that I was, I'm almost positive, the youngest person in the room. There were two other girls in their early 30's, and then all the others were in their mid-thirties. Two couples looked as if they might have been in their 40's. I'm amazed to see such a shift -- 27 used to be considered old for having kids, now I am apparently on the young side. It's something I had definetly noticed amongst friends and family, but I'm surprised to see that it might be an even greater phenomenon than I had originally thought.
Another factoid that I learned was that most of the births at this particular center are done standing up, sitting on a chair, or on all fours. I had read about how these can all be worthwhile positions, but somebody asked "Why not on the back?" The '68er explained that in much of the rest of the world, and before the 17th century, women rarely gave birth lying down. But with the development of medecine, it was more practical for the DOCTOR to be able to access the baby if the woman were horizontal and he upright. As the '68er said, "I mean, think about it, the woman is lying down, her legs are open, he is between them, standing erect. Can you get any more phallic?"
There was an uncomfortable silence in the room but I thought the point was still an interesting one.
So now I am armed with a variety of things I can do to "get to know" my baby in the womb. The '68er suggested the chanting class (no) and then also mentioned that prenatal yoga is a good idea (sure). I'm going to see what my schedule (and wallet) allows for, but I won't sign up for anything for at least another week or so.
The '68er also mentioned that the average stay at the birthing center is 5-7 days. That seems like a REALLY long time to me. Am I the only one that feels like 3 is enough (barring any physical necessity for a longer stay)?
girl, we really need to catch up. i like that i can read up on stuff online but i feel so lost. why no hospital? where is kathy? i have not spoken to her in forever. i know you mentioned that site where we can talk for free but I have no volume on my computer at home. my dad is supposed to fix that.
Oh my god. Take the 5 - 7 days if you can get it. You'll be home alone with the baby soon enough.
I flew the baby thing solo, too, and trust me: you'll wish soon enough you had someone else around to help with the baby while you try to get some sleep!
I miss you too. we will,I know, catch up soon, but, in the interim, the center sounds pretty cool for French standards. The fact that they are not yet encouraging you to NOT breastfeed is a major plus. Many bisous. I think of you and the growing pee pod.
i've encountered many a neurotic pregnant person in the last few months. 5-7 days sounds like a long time but if you have other kids at home, will be by yourself, and the room/food is decent i'm sure lots of people welcome the extra days :)
in germany, you can also choose to go home hours after the birth, whether from a hospital or a birthing center. you just have to have a midwife who comes to check on you and the baby in the week to 10 days after.
have fun with the pre-preg courses. the folks in mine are like unintentional stand-up comedians.
i have to say that I hated staying the full four days at the clinic! My mom had come to France for the birth so my husband went back to the house every night with her and they would go out to dinner and do fun stuff while I laid in my bed and listened to a baby down the hall scream all night long. Plus, the nurses were a bit shitty about taking the baby to the nursery at night so two nights I ended up staying awake nearly all night with the baby (nerves plus her fussiness) and then all day long, people were in and out of my room so I didn't get to sleep at all; I was a million times better at home. Basically, you are allowed to stay in the clinic but at any time, you can leave by checking yourself out or having your doctor do it. If the baby is fine with no jaundice there is no particular reason for you to stay. Also, they might encourage a long stay so that breast-feeding is well-established before you leave. It is nice to have someone right there to help if it isn't going perfectly the first few days. I think that the most irritating thing about the French birthing experience is that they present things in a way that is very rigid and reglemented but I found that in reality it was much more flexible than I would have thought. Good luck.
I'm really glad that I stayed the 5-7 days in the hospital. I think the minimum in France is three because three days is usually when complications turn up. In my case, my hooha stitches got infected. Holy fuck that hurt. I'm very glad that I was in the hospital to get that sorted before heading on home and trying to deal with baby by myself.
Depending on whether you have a mutuelle and which one it is, you can generally get a private room. If you have a mutuelle, call them and find out.
It least your 68er wasn't a 69er... And that's all I have to say about that!
The class sounds great. It sounds like it was better than mine was. I felt like you in that there was a lot of "duh" moments where I felt like saying "didn't you study this in 8th grade!" Otherwise it was a good experience. The women in the class were a little cold at the beginning but once we were all in the maternity ward we kept running into each other and it was like old home week.
The five day stay isn't mandatory. You will appreciate it if you're having trouble catching on to breastfeeding. I only stayed four days and that was because I was anaemic but most I saw went home on day three.
I was begging to leave after 2 days, ended up staying 5 because I had a c-section and Olivia had trouble latching and thus was quite slow to gain weight. If you don't have any help at home, then I would stay as long as you can.
So do we know if this bean is a boy or a girl yet?
Good job on your Arabic classes!
I am looking forward to 5 to 7 days with people helping me so that I can sleep and relax a bit and so that the sage femmes can teach me all the BF tricks. The baby rooms in with me so I can look at her all the time and BF on demand. I'm trying to do a water birth, but if I feel more comfortable I will find another position and pretend that I am in the woods by myself by a running stream as nature intented (not on my back with a doc prostate, my legs strapped open).
Your clinic sounds like a cool place. I hope that you enjoy it.
Oh, I forgot to mention, it seems that everyone in my clinic is older also. (I am too) I think I have seen one pregnant lady there under 30 and it is the busiest clinic in Toulouse.
ps Lebanese food is the BEST!
"Can you get anymore Phallic?" Was that a rhetorical question or was he challenging the group?
So interesting to get all of your opinions. I agree that if there is nobody at home to help out, it would be good to rest up for a few days. The issue is that my parents are going to be around, and I don't know how much I'm going to be into hanging out at the hospital. We shall see... I guess I'm not OBLIGATED to stay, so I'll just see how I feel when the moment comes, especially dpeending on the BFing.
Riana - We discussed water birthing for a long, long time at the meeting. It's crazy that the baby doesn't breathe until he hits the air.
Alison - I find out today (Tuesday).
Misplaced - Is someone had risen to the challenge, I am sure the 68er would have appreciated it.
Seriously? 'Ware having relatives around when there is a newborn and you are learning the ropes and stressed out with your new role. Especially seeing as how you live in the city of lights so you'll be obliged to feel like you have to entertain them AND deal with figuring out being a mother at the same time.
It'll end in tears man. Trust me. Been there.
Are the tix booked and paid because maybe they can come a week later. You and babs come first.