I have been MIA because a significant portion of my family was in town, and we were a busy group. My parents, brother, and sister-in-law were able to make it to Paris this Christmas, and then the five of us headed to Amsterdam for two days on Thursday. Sadly, my sister and brother-in-law couldn't be here this year -- we'll have to come up with a way to make up for it next year. Maybe I will spend the entire 2007 holiday fake-speaking in Dutch, because we apparently find that highly amusing. And really, it doesn't get annoying at all.
I loved loved loved seeing my family, and was sad to see them go. The week with them just flew by, and considering how difficult it can sometimes be to travel to foreign lands in large groups, I am happy to say that we managed to not kill one another. In fact, my homicidal tendencies only surfaced when thinking about the biting cold. We did a lot of walking this week (cold!), and it felt good to get out and about (freezing!). It also felt good to take a break from everything and just spend some time with people I love and laugh with constantly.
Also, on Christmas Day, on the way to the airport, I felt genuine kicks for the first time. My mom has just asked me the day before if I had had any movement, and I said I had felt some little flutters and pokings but nothing too concrete. However, at 9am, alone in the train, I got several little jabs that were distinctly different from everything else I had been feeling. Since then, I feel them sporadically throughout the day. This baby must like trains though, because I have felt them on nearly every train or metro I have ridden since Christmas. For now, it's not uncomfortable or anything, it just makes me smile. But I get the feeling that this junebug is a bit of a wiggle worm, so I think I could be in for some seriously dangerous kicks shortly. I am not complaining, though... I love it.
I was also spoiled rotten this Christmas in other ways. I had told my mom that finding maternity clothes here was going to be a challenge, especially for my long-legged self for whom pants are already difficult. Mom picked me up several great ensembles, and after trying them on, I have seen the light. I am 4,000 times more comfortable in maternity pants than I am in normal pants at this point, so her purchases could not have arrived at a better time. I still don't think I'm officially "showing" or anything, but I look and feel as if I have just eaten a big meal at all times.
The other really wonderful thing that happened this week is that I found a new appartment. I didn't want to discuss it here because I am supersticious despite myself; I was afraid I would jinx it. Last week, I went to visit an apartment that I had seen advertised, and the place was absolutely perfect. It's a little far out (towards the edge of the city, near the Bois de Vincennes) but I think that with a baby that will probably be advantageous rather then problematic. It is on a direct metro line to work and to my best friend's house, a direct bus line to school, and another direct bus to the birthing center. It is twice the size of my current place, bright and airy, with tons and tons of light and a generally open feel. It is completely silent inside as well, you would never know you're in a big city when the windows are closed. More importantly, it has a REAL kitchen. A full fridge (a luxury in Paris), a four-burner stove, a real oven, a dishwasher, and a washer/dryer. My current kitchen comes equipped with: a half-sized fridge, a two-burner electric hotplate, and a mini electric oven. This is a huge, huge step up. Also, for the first time in seven years, I will have a kitchen table to eat at.
As soon as I walked into the appartment, I knew I wanted it. It is cozy while still being big. It has everything I was hoping for from an apartment, and then some. And most importantly, I know that I will have enough room for a little crib and some baby stuff when the time comes. Plus, with the delicate nature of baby sleep, I am ecstatic to be somewhere so quiet. And just steps away from the park!
I talked with the landlord and explained my situation to him in detail. My case is a tough one to sell, but I decided I would rather be totally honest with him than anything else. There is no way I would be able to hide the pregnancy at some point, and it would be even more difficult to hide the actual baby. Plus, I told him that I am not sure if I am staying or going, so I did not want to take out a full-year lease. I think this combo is actually what made him choose me: he wants to put the place on the market in December of 2007, so he would ideally need somebody to be out by November 1 at the latest. Also, he doesn't want any smokers or anybody who is going to be throwing wild parties, as he wants to sell the place as-is without having to do any touch-ups. Clearly, a pregnant lady and a chick with a newborn are a reasonably safe (although, unfortunately not always so) choice in that regard.
I am really excited to get the keys, to start the move-in process, to get on with the next step in this adventure. But, I would be lying if I didn't mention a profound sense of sadness somewhere. I have been living on Odessa Street for over five years, and I love this neighborhood and the people in it. Also, I have no idea how this change is going to upset the delicate balance in my relationship with The Boy. He is happy and relieved to know that I have found this place, what is less clear is if he is coming along with me. He has already agreed to pay some of the rent, because he is more worried about my physical comfort than I am. But as I do not know exactly what this move will do to our communal living situation, I can't help but be a little sad about shutting the door on this chapter of our lives. When I told him my fears, he said, "Don't worry. We'll make an effort and see what happens. I'm not going to disappear." In the end, I know that it is better to go towards change and let things develop as they may, and I also know that this move is a positive one. It's just a little hard. I guess I knew there would be huge changes, but this is the first real biggie and I am having a bit of a difficult time of it.
For now, I am not going to dwell on the Big Questions. I am instead going to fully freak out about how much crap I have managed to squeeze into my current closet of an appartment. It's a little frustrating that all of this is falling on New Year's Eve and Day, as I am already getting all pumped about going to give some clothes away and to sell my books. I have no idea how we are going to work this move, but fortunately we have a month to get everything packed up and schlepped across the city. Plus, I don't really have any furniture, so the task is far less complicated than it could be.
So for all of my friends Stateside reading this: you now have a comfortable place to stay, and I have a brand new fold out couch with your name on it. Come visit me!
Here it is. The last day of 2006. Every year, I say, "I get the feeling this year is going to be full of changes. A big year, in lots of ways." This year, however, I have no need to say it. I just know it. 2007 is going to be huge.
What a great post and a great way to end 2006. Here's wishing you a happy and healthy 2007!
I just discovered your blog a few days ago and spent the better part of an afternoon reading through some of your past posts. I really admire your courage with these difficult decisions you have had to make recently: baby, apartment, etc. I wish you all the best in the new year and hope that 2007 is filled with lots of luck and happy events
This was an amazing post (it brought tears to my eyes). I admire your courage in the face of your new life. It took some time for it to dawn on me that the Boy was not (for the moment) staying in the big picture but would be a peripheral character.
I would be a wreck. You are so much stronger than I am...
May 2007 bring you boundless health and happiness, for you, baby and the Boy.
Oh... maybe I can take some books off your hands?... How much are you selling them for?...