Yesterday was wonderful. I've been needing to have a really good day; thank you Yesterday.
TheBoy and I took the 7.40 train to Bruxelles, heading out to Belgium to spend the day at The Little Guy's house for his NINTH birthday. I'm still getting over that whole almost-a-decade-old thing. When I met The Boy, The Little Guy was not yet three.
We took a commuter train to a smaller town - where the family lives - and upon arrival, TheBoy realized he had forgotten to bring their phone number. Ordinarily, they pick us up at the train station. Yesterday? We walked. But oh, yes... it had snowed the night before. Our ten minute walk turned into a 30-minute adventure, avoiding slush puddles and ice patches. Of course, I had worn light socks and flimsy shoes without traction. The beautiful thing was that on four hours of sleep, no food, and just a cup of coffee, The Boy and I giggled the entire way, making fun of one another when a foot slipped or we came to a particularly disastrous crossing. I just felt GOOD, even with the wind and the cold and the wet feet.
Once we got there, we spent the morning watching the baby - almost two - laugh at his mom's feet-stomping skills. He regularly made desperate attempts to imitate her, but would fall into a laughing fit and lose his concentration. The game never got old.
The older boys - The Little Guy and Strauss - are half-brothers. There are only two years between them, and they are best friends. Their extended family, in a move I still have issues with, refer to them as Chocalate and Vanilla. This plays off of the fact that The Little Guy is mixed, with a beautiful head of curly hair, and Strauss is white, with BRIGHT blond hair and green eyes.
The Boy likes to spoil The Little Guy when he can, probably because of some latent guilt or just natural parental pride. I can never tell. By extension, he spoils the crap out of Strauss, hoping to keep brotherly jealousy at bay. A lot of the way The Boy has handled the delicate situation with his son has made me proud of him. Even his son's mother - hitherto refered to as Angie - had to admit that he has not been a complete asshole over the years. That's almost a compliment, coming from her.
Angie has two other children with the Pops, a man who was obviously put on this earth to do two things: raise children and do home improvement. After a rocky start with the two of them, I can honestly say I enjoy their company and look forward to the next time we see one another. I've always gotten along with the Pops - he's one of those people who isn't happy unless everyone in the group is happy. He constantly goes the added length to make sure I'm comfortable... I notice it, appreciate it, and wish I could find a proper way to thank him for it.
With Angie, however, it was a little bit more difficult. This might have been because of the fact that she is the mother of my boyfriend's child, and I can't help but be intimidated/jealous/somethingothernegativeemotion because of that. It also might have had something to do with Angie herself. Although I've now come to realize she's a nice person, she has a funny way of showing it, and getting to understand that takes some time. But I think I've got it down now.
The morning of our departure, I was thinking about how my self-esteem has improved over the years. Then I thought about how that first encounter with Angie several years ago was like an ego-crushing bulldozer; it just knocked all of that esteem I supposedly had for myself right down to the ground. Slowly, I've been getting more comfortable around her, but it was really, really hard at first. She also didn't give me much leeway. But the last time we saw one another, we warmed up a bit. I caught myself hoping that I wouldn't revert back to the way we had interacted before.
And I didn't. I just felt good. In the company of a family I wouldn't have met without knowing The Boy, I felt perfectly at home. We went out for The Little Guy's birthday - accompanied by 12 of his screaming, fourth-grade friends. Angie and the Pops kept rolling their eyes, praying for the whole thing to be over. As I don't have any kids myself, I watched the whole thing with fascination. We went bowling, ate chips, and sang "Happy Birthday."
On the way back from the bowling alley, a huge snow-fight (slush-fight, really) broke out, and The Boy really got into it with all 12 of the Little Guy's friends. They made him their personal target, and he then had the brilliant idea to use me as a barricade. It was crazy, cold, and hilarious - and the boys had smiles stretched across their faces so tightly, I was worried they'd pop.
Angie later told me that The Little Guy was really proud to have The Boy there, to show off to his friends how fun and cool his dad is, and how lucky he is to have TWO dads. This is a huge improvement - he used to be embarrassed by The Boy - and it warms my heart to see The Little Guy change. His friends obviously thought The Boy was the coolest dad in the world, as he pummeled them with snowballs and later played a raucous game of foosball with them. He couldn't understand a word they said, but the general language of cheering when someone scores is the same everywhere.
At the end of the night, when all of the boys went home and the house resumed its relative quiet of two boys wrestling, the stereo playing, and a baby alternating between laughing and crying, we all breathed a sigh of relief. After awhile, Strauss, The Little Guy, and The Boy picked up a game of foosball, while I watched from the sidelines, cheering each goal as it was made (I had already played three games, and I'm not a big foosball fan). Suddenly, The Little Guy stopped the game and said, "Attends! Attends!" He ran to Angie in the kitchen and asked her something in a hushed tone. I thought he was looking for another ball to play with, or asking if we could open up the ping-pong table, or something. So I was pretty surprised when she walked back into the living room and looked at us and said, "He'd like to know if he could go back home with you guys tonight."
I couldn't tell if she was hurt or surprised or happy - she can be hard to read. But I was touched, and so was The Boy. Unfortunately, we couldn't bring him. It would have been cool to reward the first time he instigated a visit with an affirmative answer. But I was really happy he asked, and it closed out a fabulous day in a brilliant way.
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