Up Front

I'm off tomorrow to fly (first class!) to Detroit to see my parents. I'm excited because I am going to sit in a comfortable chair (first class!) and watch movies (in first class!) for several hours.

This is probably the first time I have actually looked forward to the FLYING part of travel. It might have something to do with sitting in MASSAGING, RECLINING chairs with on-demand videos an arm's reach away. That's first class (!) for you.

Not that I'm excited or anything. I'm totally, ahem... um... used to first class travel. Yeah. This is totally not a big deal to me. At all.

In fact, last time I flew home, I got bumped up. I tried to play cool - I fly first class all the time and what have you - but when I couldn't figure out how to operate the damn chair, I gave myself away to the guy next to me. By the end of the flight, he was teaching me about getting an extra helping of sorbet, which was rockin'. THEY FEED YOU SORBET IN FIRST CLASS, PEOPLE. Not ice cream sandwiches. SOR. BET. Mango flavored, too.

This time, I'm just going to kick back. If I have to ask the damn stewardess to show me how to use the chair, so be it. Hopefully she'll give me a manicure, too. You never know what's possible beyond that curtain.

I don't want to sleep on this trip. Too much first-classness to be enjoyed. Ironically, I know this is going to be the one trip I'll sleep like a baby on. I can feel it. Those fully-reclining chairs are like that for a reason.

It's gonna be tough.