Seven

I've written and erased three entries this week. My life is missing its usual flair. And I can't use that word without thinking of "Office Space."

Things that are happening include:

1. I just got a letter from the French government telling me they can't authorize my work visa because my employer should have set it up for me. I find that ironic because I WORK FOR THE FRENCH GOVERNMENT. But, details. They were also upset because last year's authorisation expired, and yet I continued to work. That's funny ha-ha to me because they were the morons who sent me a 9-day work authorisation form for a SEVEN-MONTH contract, and I received the authorisation two weeks before the end of my contract. I am going to have to stir up the Inner Bitch a bit over the next 48 hours, just in time to get her fiesty and vicious for my government encounter early Thursday morning.

What was that? You were all thinking that would be your favorite way to spend the your only day off, too? What a coincidence because I'm so digging this not-having-any-freedom on Thursdays thing. I like to spend my hours of non-teaching or non-listening-to-droning-professorsing at the government office for foreign employees. Watching the numbers switch on the automatic number caller thing is invigorating.

2. I read in a book about what kind of appliances one should buy if one wants a non-toxic kitchen. I'm thinking of chucking the whole Peru trip and just spending all of my money on new appliances, because now I am officially scared. Teflon=bad. Hot plastic=bad. Aluminum pots= very bad. If anybody has any spare, stainless steel pots/pans from the 1920's, I could really be your friend. Also, apparently one needs some sort of special vegetable wash soap. Because nowadays, water isn't enough.

3. This woman brought in her baby to work today. I don't know her, nor do I know her baby, but the urge to hold the little man was pretty severe. I think that babies that don't cry or shit for more than 15 minutes should not be allowed near me.

4. TheKnitter and I went to see "Hitch" yesterday. There was a point in the movie ("Yeah, my sister once fell through the ice...") that I thought I might hurt someone because the writing/directing/acting was so bad, but luckily that moment was saved by some French person sitting in the front who started laughing REALLY hard and REALLY loud at the "deep" moment of "truth" shared between Will Smith and whoever that ho-bag playing opposite him is (Eva something?). Of course, his laughter resulted in ripples of giggles spreading throughout the theater, and at that point I think we all felt more comfortable knowing that everyone in the theater thought the film was lame as hell and we could laugh at inappropriate moments. Seriously, it made the film a lot more funny and enjoyable. It was a little like Mystery Sciences Theater 3000 but with one hundred perfect strangers. And minus the robots.

5. Only in my house could we get in a fight over whether or not it's ok to select "URGENT" when submitting a ticket for technical help on a web site. This led to a comment about karma, and how this is going to get him in the ass in the future. He responded by screaming to me about the fact that he paid for a service and can put "URGENT" whenever he damn well pleases.

We didn't speak for three hours after this.

Then, seriously, I had to let it go. Like, what the hell? Did we actually fight about that? Did we really let it get to the non-speaking point? Are we that pathetic? That we argue over which priority level to choose when asking for technical help online?

I think that must have been a new low.

No worries, folks. We've had a good laugh over it since.

6. I want to buy a juicer. Oh, and an entirely new set of kitchen appliances (see above). Oh, and a trip to Peru.

7. What's up with people stealing other people's posts/photos online? I feel pretty sad for even having an online journal in the first place. But I would feel really, really lame for having one that ISN'T EVEN REALLY ABOUT ME. That's about SOME OTHER PERSON that I am just PRETENDING to be, but ONLINE. Just, like, wha? I don't... just... no... I don't get it. Maybe it's because I'm blond.