Liberry

Libraries and me? NOT FRIENDS.

Here was my conversation today with The Bitchiest Woman Ever To Work in a Library (Even Bitchier than the Woman at that Other Library Where the Woman I Talked to Was a Total Bitch). Thougths in italics, as usual.

TBWEWL(EBWOLWWTWTB): Hello.
Me: Hi. I have this list of documents I would like to see, but I don't know how I go about that.
TBWEWL: Do you live in France?
Me: Uh (why is she asking me that, how bad is my accent?)... um... yes.
TBWEWL: For how long?
Me: I've lived here five years.
TBWEWL: Oh. You know, sometimes students are just here for a few months.
Me: No. I live here.
TBWEWL: Can I see some ID?
Me: Oh. (man, she is a bit harsh, but I'll keep smiling and being polite anyway) I'm sorry, I didn't know I had to bring any ID other than my library card.
TBWEWL: These are special documents. I have to make a new, different card for you. So I need some ID.
Me: Will a student ID card work? I don't carry my passport with me.
TBWEWL: No.
Me: Well, I don't have anything else.
TBWEWL: I can't give you your card then.
Me: (Sigh) Ok.
TBWEWL: But we might as well get your file ready (she said this with so much hatred I thought she might spit in my face afterwards)
Me: Ok.
TBWEWL: What level of studies are you in?
Me: Maitrise.
TBWEWL: What is the subject of your thesis?
Me: ::pause to consider how to word it::
TBWEWL: IF YOU DON'T WANT TO COOPERATE, WE CAN JUST STOP RIGHT NOW.
Me: what the fuck? Did that bitch just yell at me? What? I was THINKING...
TBWEWL: :::looking at me as if I were six and had just decided to finger-paint throughout her living room:::
Me: I have the right to pause a moment to think about things, don't I?
TBWEWL: Well?
Me: Humor. It's about humor.
TBWEWL: Humor? THAT'S your thesis subject? (said as if I had told her my thesis topic was on why the next reality tv show should be watching pigs thrown in a pen and seeing how they live - hidden cameras! Pigs!)
Me: (said very, very firmly and pissed-offedly) Yes. That's my subject.(Jesus, is it THAT bad of a subject)
TBWEWL: That's IT? That's the whole subject? That's your title?
Me: You want a title?
TBWEWL: Yes.
Me: I don't have a title yet.
TBWEWL: I think you need to take this paper (hands me the paper) and get your research director to sign it...

She then proceeded to school me on how unprepared I am for my thesis (duh) and how complicated it is going to be for me to get the documents I need. Get this:

1. I have to reserve a seat in the library to consult documents
2. I have to arrive at the hour I signed up for ("It's like a train," said the TBWEWL, "If you're late for your train, the train leaves anyway. Same deal here.")
3. I have to give over a list of documents I would like to consult beforehand, and allow at least an hour for them to get the documents down from the shelves.
4. I am not allowed to make photocopies.

HELL.

I'm about to just go to London for a week and gather all my research there, where people treat you like a human being.

I hate French librarians.