Last week, I went to a sort of fair for aspiring business types. Don't ask. Just a plan I have, one that I wanted to test out with some real-live expert types.
Anyway, so I went to this three-day-long fair, which was quite an event. The first day was rather intense. I'm tall and blond, which already makes me stand out in this country. Add to that equation that the male:female ration was something like 2,247:3, and, well, you can imagine how that felt. The testerone was pulsating around me, practically tangible in the air. I distracted myself during boring meetings by counting the amount of unaccompanied women in the 400-person lecture halls. On one hand. When that was over, I began counting bald heads, and I always ran out of fingers and toes.
At each of the hour-and-a-half long lectures that I attended, people kept stressing the human side to business in France. I found this amusing, as if people were insisting because they know of the reputation they have for being cold, cruel, paper-requirement making machines. My theory is that there's a reason the word business has come to mean business, in the sense of "And I mean business!" that my mom used to use when I wouldn't eat my green beans. It's also a little ironic how the word business can also be read busy-ness.
Anyway, I began chuckling to myself when the fourteen thousandth person said, "But really, the business world is all about the person, not about money..." Because, come on guys. I highly doubt that if I come into a bank with dreadlocks, headphones on my ears, and no money - but an enormous heart! - that those men in ties behind the desks are going to seriously consider my project to open a head shop. I really just don't see it happening. But really! If you are very personable and you establish a good relationship with your banker, then really! That's what it's really about! Really!
I became convinced that these supposed specialists and accountants and loan people were just trying to lure us in to make more money for themselves. After all, they're the experts. They know how to work the system to their advantage. We're just fools with dreams.
Then on Friday I went to a free consultation with an accountant. I was nervous because I'm lame and not made out of 100% steel-encased balls. I'm gutsy enough to actually go talk to these people about a project, but it doesn't mean I don't lose my capacity to speak coherent French for the first three minutes. I'm human, people.
But you know what's crazy? My accountant man was human, too!!! He actually had a real-life soul, and he even smiled easily. We talked "business" for a half an hour, and then we talked about the French vs American education system (he studied in Oklahoma of all places). Then we started making fun of professors on their high horses, and then he asked me questions about what I think of France. Then I went back to the subject at hand and he got down to "business" again, and then I told him that I think he has a soul and I didn't believe these accounting types could be like that.
You know what else is crazy? He didn't make me feel like a dumbass for proposing my project. He actually made it sound like it could be a good idea, and, equally as important, possibly even feasible. The French rule of thumb is to discourage anyone from even considering thinking out of the box. Know why? They have rules and a definite 10-step process complete with photocopies of all important documents and a few official stamps. But Mr Accountant? He said, "Yeah, the administrative stuff is a real pain, but it can get done. Your idea could work..." and then he went on to actually PROPOSE solutions to me.
I'm thinking these people weren't just talking out of their asses about the whole "human" thing. Of course, I've only actually talked to one of them. We'll see if those other androids are actually living and breathing creatures, too.
Meanwhile, I had a few spare minutes on Thursday and stopped by the meeting on "The Blog and Your Business." It was a presentation of TypePad, which most of you must be familiar with. The guys giving the talk showed the basic breakdown of a "blog," how it can be useful to a company, etc, etc. I felt a little proud that I knew Movable Type before it was Six Apart, Mega Giant of the Blogging Universe. I sorta wanted to call Ben and Mena and tell them, "You made it! You made it! Even the pathetically slow French are catching on to your technology! I saw at least 50 gray-haired men taking intensive notes at the Six Apart presentation! Congrats!" Really. I felt I had some sort of secret with the presenters, although they probably were wondering who the hell that tall, blond girl in the back who couldn't stop smirking was. Oh, but I'm on to them. Oh yes.
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