Apologies

Apparently I upset some people with the last entry. That's ok. I was crying and a bit hysterical, so it didn't come across as it should have, but I'm leaving it up for honesty's sake.

I didn't want to make it sound like any of the things I was feeling were because my family is cold or inconsiderate. I have a great family, and I am happy to be spending time with them. I am also happy that my parents and siblings are happily married. I really, really did not want it to sound like that wasn't the case. I also don't want to sound like they're not doing something they should be doing, or doing something they shouldn't. Their actions are perfectly fine. The situation has just got me thinking and I freaked out.

But I'm doing much better now. My sister came in while I was in the middle of a badly timed breakdown. We cried a bit, which helped clear the air. She was right in that I hadn't voiced any of the things that were upsetting me, and I was pretty much coming across as a bitch instead. I can see that. I didn't mean to do that. My bad.

I would also like to say, for the record, that Kari is a great big sister. I was thinking about that this morning (hours before the breakdown, I swear) and she only further confirmed it today.

Anyway, there are no simple answers to any of the things I was crying about. I don't know. A few things add up and I get a little overwhelmed. It's always like that. I think the problem this week is that I had nowhere to turn to: nowhere to go, nobody to call, no movie to lose myself in. Now I know a bit about my dealing techniques, and I know that walking around a cruise boat with my family did not make the list of healthy ways to deal with life crises.

But that's ok. You live, you learn. Tomorrow we head to Vancouver and I'll be back on solid ground. I feel bad, like I've been a horribly moody, grumpy bitch this whole time. Hopefully that can get turned around.

PS One totally creepy thing about this boat is that it was 'christened' by the Olsen twins. Their photos are up everywhere and that gives me the willies. But, anywhere that has free homemade chocolate chip cookies available at all times is ok with me. Olsen twins and all.