I told Kathypath about a realization I had the other day: Andre the Crush is slightly duckfoot.
We, of course, had to get into the grammatical issues surrounding the word "duckfoot." Is he duckfoot? Or duckfooted? Or do we just say he has duckfeet?
Regardless, the issue here is that his right foot is slightly ducky.
Kathypath told me I am not allowed to use the term "slight" when talking about duckfeet. Either you are are you aren't duckfoot. Or you do or you don't have duckfeet. Or, in Andre's case, you have duckfoot. Just one.
Anyway, it's a disheartening realization. Such a cutie, too. I just can't stand the duckfeet. Or one duckfoot. So all those Andre fantasies have gone out the window. Good thing for The Boy. He's gotta be pretty happy about that, even though he doesn't even know it.
Kathypath and I had the following conversation:
K: Do duckfoot people just not realize they have duckfeet? Or do they realize it and not care? Or do they think it's ok? Or can they just not fix it?
Me: Well, what about unibrows? Do people with unibrows not realize they have them? Or do they realize it and not care? Or do they think it's ok?
K: God, no. Nobody thinks unibrows are ok.
Me: So do you think they just don't care?
K: No. That's impossible. Unibrows are so wrong, on so many levels.
Me: So are you telling me they don't know they have a unibrow?
K: No, that's even more absurd. How could they look at themselves in the mirror every day and not realize they have a unibrow? They must know.
Me: Look, K, we're stuck here. Do they know and not care or do they not know?
K: I don't know!
Me: Me neither. But I still see unibrows everywhere so it's one or the other.
So which do you think it is?
; "Sun River 5K")
; "Catching fish")
I think either they don't realise, or they don't care... I guess that's pretty much what you already established :D
Also, what precisely *is* duckfoot(ed)(ness)? Walking like a duck? Webbed toes?
Cold. Heartless. Petty. Fickle. Aie. Women.
The foot thing: what the fork is a guy with duckfeet supposed to do about it? It's not a matter of knowing or caring, it's simply there, and there's not much to be done. I was born with feet turned 180 degrees from one another, wore a nasty metal brace in bed at night as a kid, and one still points that way, and his mate the other way (although it's more of a 90 degree thing these days).
The Unibrow Problem is another kettle of fish. Shave. Wax. Pluck. Do SOMETHING. But don't walk around with a Cro Mag Brow. That's just not on.
Matt - It's so funny because when I wrote this post I thought to myself, "Crap, I hope nobody takes offense to this, because it really is all in jest."
So, in case you did take offense: it is all in jest. I was actually just trying to emphasize exactly how overanalytical women get about the men they find attractive.
And anyway, I think it was established that for duckfoot/feet/edness it's possible that the person can't do anything about it. BUT, for a unibrow? I think something can always be done. Always.
The unibrow camp IS evenly divided:
On this side: those who are in denial. "I don't have a unibrow! Unibrows are awful, but *I* don't have one!"
On that side: Those who have them, but don't want to do anything about them. Andrew's friend Marc is one of these. He knows he has a unibrow, but he's a big baby about doing anything about it. Two friends actually hijacked him and took him to get it *threaded* up on Devon (where there's a large Indian population).