I told Kathypath about a realization I had the other day: Andre the Crush is slightly duckfoot.
We, of course, had to get into the grammatical issues surrounding the word "duckfoot." Is he duckfoot? Or duckfooted? Or do we just say he has duckfeet?
Regardless, the issue here is that his right foot is slightly ducky.
Kathypath told me I am not allowed to use the term "slight" when talking about duckfeet. Either you are are you aren't duckfoot. Or you do or you don't have duckfeet. Or, in Andre's case, you have duckfoot. Just one.
Anyway, it's a disheartening realization. Such a cutie, too. I just can't stand the duckfeet. Or one duckfoot. So all those Andre fantasies have gone out the window. Good thing for The Boy. He's gotta be pretty happy about that, even though he doesn't even know it.
Kathypath and I had the following conversation:
K: Do duckfoot people just not realize they have duckfeet? Or do they realize it and not care? Or do they think it's ok? Or can they just not fix it?
Me: Well, what about unibrows? Do people with unibrows not realize they have them? Or do they realize it and not care? Or do they think it's ok?
K: God, no. Nobody thinks unibrows are ok.
Me: So do you think they just don't care?
K: No. That's impossible. Unibrows are so wrong, on so many levels.
Me: So are you telling me they don't know they have a unibrow?
K: No, that's even more absurd. How could they look at themselves in the mirror every day and not realize they have a unibrow? They must know.
Me: Look, K, we're stuck here. Do they know and not care or do they not know?
K: I don't know!
Me: Me neither. But I still see unibrows everywhere so it's one or the other.
So which do you think it is?