I'm going to discuss this now because if I don't, Lord knows I may not ever have another chance. Right now, in this moment, I can sort of say that I actually feel like my life is coming together. Maybe, just maybe, even going somewhere.
I've been looking into future plans. I have to think ahead a bit. Nothing is for sure, nothing is for certain (but until they close the curtain...), but I actually feel semi-stable about the options I have out there. This is a great, wonderful feeling - one that I haven't had in years.
I've decided to put off all decisions until November/December 2004. I am, however, doing investigative work and checking out the possibilities out there for me. Whatever I do is going to be a big change, so I'm bracing myself for it. But I'm also getting excited. After two years of feeling like I don't have my shit together, it's thrilling to finally feel I'm moving forward.
One thing that helps is having friends who aren't afraid of crazy things. Another thing is realizing that I'm young and I'll probably have the freedom to take ideas and run with them at this point in my life. A third is that I actually really like what I am studying (despite the fact that I bitched about exams at least six times on this web site), and that I know I want to continue.
Anyway, I'm just happy. I'm working hard, remaining active, feeling accomplished, and going to bed every night exhausted. This is the way things should be. And it's a rhythm I hope to keep up as long as my mind and body can take the heat.
Ok. I just had to get that out there. My one moment of stability just needed to be noted. Let's hope all hell doesn't break loose when I check my exam results on Friday.*
*One note on exam results: the literature results have already been posted. I'd say about one in ten people passed.
Good luck. I know it's not luck, but the sentiment remains...