I've Been Told That the People Who Work the Phones at Banks Are Often Ex-Cons

The following is an actual conversation that The Pops and I had with a bank agent guy on a three-way call today:

Dad: Hi, I'm calling about a banking problem my daughter is having.
Bank Agent Guy: Ok, sir, I'll just need to verify your mother's maiden name and your date of birth.
Dad: (Gives the necessary info)
BAG: Ok, sir, how can I help you today?
D: Well, my daughter has had a slight problem with her bank* and has managed to get stuck with a bank card that has no pin number, so she has no way of pulling out money. So I thought that maybe she could get a cash advance with her Citibank card.
BAG: Yes sir, she just needs to go to a bank with her card and some ID and she should be able to get a cash advance.
D: Ok, well, but she's in Paris. Can she still do it there?
BAG: Yes, she can just go to any bank with her card and some ID and she should be able to get the cash advance.
D (somewhat doubtfully): Have you been to a bank in France?
BAG: No sir, I haven't.
D and Me: ::: stifle snorts as we try to resist the urge to bitch about French administration::::
Me: Do you know where a Citibank might be in Paris?
BAG: Let me just check that for you.
D and Me: Ok.

waiting...

BAG: Ok, the closest Citibank I could find is in France.

beat

D: What?
BAG: The closes Citibank I could find is in France.
D: Ok, well, she's in Paris. Is there one in Paris?
BAG: Um...(fumbling)... let's see... um, ok. France, Paris... they're the same thing, right?**
D and Me: :::: even more desperately attempting to stifle our giggles::::
BAG: Oh, ok, I found a Citibank in Paris.
D: Ok, why don't you just give us that, then.

* different bank, but just as idiotic of a person on the other end of the phone regardless.
** Said in absolute seriousness, like a businessman saying, "Ok, so we'll be sending off the RX28 reports on Monday, right?" An affirmation, rather than a question, although with enough doubt to require the use of the final "right?" for double-checking purposes. What exactly BAG's definition of "the same thing" is, I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure it's incorrect.

4 Comments

AAAAAAAAAAAH!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Reminds me of the guy on the lost travelers' cheques hotline who, when I told him the current time in Thailand, expressed his surprised pleasure to discover that Thailand was in the exact same timezone as California. Damn, some people are dumbasses.

When one condenses Dr. Dean's comments and positions down, it becomes evident that his primary message is that corporations have to much influence on the political processes in the USA. Dean's position of not accepting corporate campaign donations and his statements in the "Common Sense" pamphlet point directly to this position with quotes like the following taken from Theodore Roosevelt: "Every special interest is entitled to justice full, fair and complete....but not one is entitled to a vote in Congress, to a voice on the bench or to representation in any public office." Today's special interests are corporations, pure and simple. They are dominating life in America because of their wealth and ability to avoid legal prosecution despite having been given the designation of "persons" by the US Supreme Court in 1886. Since decision needs to be reversed. Corporations should not have the rights of persons, and they should be controlled as the powerful business tools, yet dangerous political entities that they can become. Corporations should not be allowed to donate to political campaigns, period, as was the case before 1886. Financial books of corporations should be open to the public, as they were before 1886. Taxes on corporations do not have to been equal to those levied on people. In short, when need to repeal the decision of 1886, and take away corporate personhood. What is Dr. Dean's position on this subject?
thank you,
Andrew Berna-Hicks

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My name is Lee (Ann) and I am 30-year-old mama living in Portland, OR. My son, Mateo, is three and...

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