After a off-and-on successful week of teaching, I have conglomerated a list of my favorite discussions thus far in our getting-to-know-one-another discussions. These kids crack me up, I swear. So I've decided this may just be a regular feature. I'll share Episode One with you now. I've eliminated grammar errors, and have translated French interjections into English for convenience:
1. Do you smoke weed?
- No
Would you tell us if you did?
- No
Do you snort coke?
- No!
2. Are you single?
- No
Do you have a brother who is?
- (laugh) No. I have a brother, but he's married.
Does your brother have any friends?
- Yes, but they're all married, too.
(She snaps her fingers as if to say, "Aw, man!")
3. What kind of music do you like?
- Funk, soul, hip hop. Those are the big ones.
Do you like to dance?
- Yeah, I do.
Do you want to come dancing with us tonight?
- (laughs) It's a schoolnight.
That's ok. We don't have to go to our first classes. We can sleep through them.
- No you can't!
4. Why did Americans decide to vote for an illiterate president?
- I've asked myself the same question for the last few years.
He didn't even know about what was happening in Yougoslavia.
- He doesn't know a lot of things.
5. What is the image Americans have of French people?
- Well, the stereotype is: the baguette, the cigarette, the wine, and the beret. Also, most Americans think the French are snobs.
No, no!! The British are the snobs!! We're not the snobs, it's the British!
6. What are your hobbies?
- Well, I like music a lot. I listen to a lot of music. Sometimes I go running for exercise. Other than that - I'm embarrassed to admit to this - but I like computers.
Oh, do you use internet?
- Yes. A lot.
Do you have an email address?
- Of course.
Can I have it?
- Ha ha. Maybe. If you're good all year.
(another girl interjects) Ach! He's flirting with you! Why is he trying to flirt with you, you're the teacher!
- You can flirt with teachers. The teachers just can't flirt back.
"You can flirt with teachers. The teachers just can't flirt back." - I think that's the best rule ever. Then they can spend all year trying to impress you (hopefully by behaving well and paying attention, although...)
I know that when I taught EFL, I'd get into some interesting conversations with my students too- most of them were quite a bit older than me though. I'd get the usual rolling of eyes from some of the Germans when they learned I was from Texas (thinking we all worship W. here) and comments like "oh, you Texans like to kill people and carry guns, huh?" So, you can see our conversations weren't always so lighthearted. The Polish were a lot more accepting. But it was interesting to talk to them about the misconceptions and stereotypes that they had about Texans/Americans, and vice-versa.
So, do you like teaching your classes? I miss it.
I'm an assistant too. On the first day of class I gave everyone a little questionnaire that said "What do you want to do with me this year?" and "Are there any questions you have for me?" Best answer to the first question: "The Massachusetts." (What could that possibly mean?!) And to the second: "Is there anyone in the USA who isn't fat? Do Americans ever eat anything without cheese on it?" I haven't figured out who wrote that yet, but I WILL be adopting him/her.