Before lecture today, our teacher was a good ten minutes late. Maybe fifteen. I was exhausted and spaced out because I hadn't fallen asleep until 5.30 am due to an unfortunate bout of nausea, and frankly, I was glad nobody had tried to talk to me. From somewhere far away, I heard a little voice say something. I looked towards the little voice, and there was a woman looking straight at me, clearly hoping to engage in conversation. She was older, for a Sorbonne student. Maybe somewhere around 45. Damnit, I thought, I never should have made eye contact. Our conversation went as follows (my thoughts are in parentheses):
Me: I'm sorry?
Her: I said, "This class is totally pointless."
Me: Yeah.
Her: We're not learning anything in it.
Me: (That's funny, I feel like we are) Yeah, well, we've been going over some things a little bit too much. Just circling around the same points from time to time.
Her: I only come in case I might miss something, but frankly, I don't feel there's been anything to miss. This class is worthless.
Me: (Did she even hear what I said?) Yeah, I dunno.
Her: Absolute crap, I tell you! It's just such a stupid, stupid class.
Me: (She's actually kinda scary) Well, the section is pretty good.
Her: Yeah, you're right. But the lectures are dreadful. Have we learned anything? I mean, really, have we? It's just amazing how bad this class can be for such a reputable program. I'm totally shocked.
Me: I just hope they're prepping us for the exam.
Her: But that's what I mean!! They haven't gone over bblaq qod sgoin qlksndg qoinblckn (I've stopped listening at this point, just nodding and making approving grunting noises) qljgqkdg...
Me: Yeah.
Her: And they're not doing anything on qlnkgqoi lqknboqin lqnksdgoqigd. And absolute nothing having to do with lkqnq oinqdsglkn.
Me: Yeah.
Her: I mean, how are we ever going to pass the CAPES?*
Me: Oh, you're doing the CAPES?
Her: Yeah. Of course. That's why I'm here.
Me: Really?
Her: Yeah... (confused).
pause
Her: This is the CAPES class, no?
Me: No.
Her: It isn't?
Me: No. It's French linguistics.
Her: Oh my.
She gathered up all of her shit and left. But she must have really wondered why I was nodding my head and saying "Yeah" so much, when obviously I had no idea what the hell she was talking about. Actually, I had started getting a little worried that I hadn't been understanding my class this whole semester, because she had been rattling on and on about something having to do with the etymological breakdown of the word habiter. Glad to know I'm on the ball after all.
*The CAPES is an exam that Frenchies take to become teachers. I think.
BWAHAHAHA!
I love your stories like this. Hee.
hehehehe
when i was teaching, one of my classes was for remedial CAPES students who were studying to be english teachers. they were pretty clueless too... must be concours stress...
hiLARious. glad to know i'm not the only one who makes that type of mistake.
Be sure you tell this story to your mother. She will love it, too.
Be sure you tell this story to your mother. She will love it, too.