Suckiness

1. Sign up for the job and cross my fingers that we can figure out a way to work around my schedule (I was strongly discouraged from this option because another girl - available 24/7 - REALLY wants my position). This is problematic because I have something insane like 10 hours of classes on Mondays, and I'm told that my most-requested day at my school will be, yes, Monday.

2. Quit the job and pray that there's an opening in the Paris school district. Somewhere. Anywhere. At any time of day. Other than Mondays.

I'm sort of bitter. No, I'm really bitter. In lots of ways. I clearly marked on my file that I needed to be in Paris, and that I couldn't be too far away if put in a suburb. That I needed flexible hours. That I would be in school at the same time. Apparently, they didn't even look at my damn file before assigning me somewhere.

I'm truly heartbroken. I love teaching, and I've been dying to get back to it. I also love having a job, and I've been dying to be employed. And to have a paycheck. I've done everything in my power to make this work. Why is it that three days before the program officially starts, they tell me that I can't do it? Couldn't they at least have had the decency to let me know this two weeks ago? Maybe we could have found a solution. I have to give them an official decision by Tuesday (the day before the program starts).

So I don't know where that leaves me. I've sent out emails and am saying prayers that the people in the Paris school district find an opening for me. I highly doubt it. I kept getting the administrative comments such as, "Well, we've never done anything like this..." or "I wouldn't get my hopes up..." or, even better, "This is such an exceptional case, I can hardly believe we're even discussing it."

So anyway. First, I found out about that.

Then I went to the Sorbonne and found out that my Arabic class is cancelled. The one I was so, so excited about. I have the option of taking a different, more intensive course which has 6.5 hours of classes per week. This sounded like a great option, especially considering I won't be working, apparently. But one of the required classes for that program (which has six 1-hr classes per week, half of which are on Monday and half of which are on Tuesday) falls right at the exact same time as one of my required lectures. There's no way around it. So I don't know what I'm going to do. Apparently, attendance is required. I'm going to inquire about maybe auditing the class. Or taking the class, but not taking the test at the end (that would give me a diploma). I don't know. I'm so disappointed.

Then I came home and told The Boy about the job situation, who so kindly said, "What's wrong with you? Stop being so dramatic. You're acting like the sky just caved in."

Not the comment to say. I let him have it. I was absolutely livid. We ended up screaming at one another and then doing the whole silence thing for awhile. That put in me in the best of spirits, naturally.

Then I found out that Edward Said died yesterday. And that Robert Palmer died of a heart attack in Paris (ok, I'm not really a Robert Palmer fan, but still...). And then I learned that Starbucks is going to open up a store in France. I quote: "Historically, French cafes have served as the 'third place' to authors, philosophers and artists," Chairman Howard Shultz said, adding that he believed Starbucks "will fit well into the French cafe tradition." What is the world coming to? Keep your freakin' crappy coffee to yourselves, America! I don't want your fluffy purple chairs in my neighborhood!

I was supposed to go out and be social with a whole bunch of people today. I just couldn't hack it. I took a nap and woke up to find the boy feeling bad about how he had reacted. We talked everything over, he turned into Supportive Boy. I cancelled my evening plans. We're just going to stay in, order pizza, grab a movie. I think that's what I need. I have a tendency to escape feeling badly by running myself into the ground and being too tired to think about anything. But sometimes it's better to just slow down.

I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me, though. I was so excited for this year, and in one day everything has come crashing down. God, I am being dramatic. I know it's not the end of the world. I just feel terrifically let-down by the assistantship program. At least, for now, the Sorbonne seems to be working out somewhat alright. I don't know what I'm going to do for work, though. It's back to the drawing board, I guess. This fucking sucks.