Please sing the title as if it were the Beatles' song "Back in the U.S.S.R" and do so at the part where they say, "Back in the U.S., back in the U.S., back in the U.S.S.R.!" Only, of course, you must change that to "...in the U.S. of A!"
Now that that's cleared up, I guess you've all figured out what my announcement is: I am heading back to the U.S. (back to the U.S, back to the U.S. of A!) tomorrow afternoon. While there, I will be far too many arms' reaches away from a computer that I can actually say functions, so the updating might be few and far between. Meanwhile, I am trying to get my other web site project done and taken care of before I leave because otherwise I am going to have awful dreams that torture me at night: Change the banner! No, no, that link doesn't work...aaahh!!
I really will, too.
But really what I am planning on doing while back at my parents house is three-fold:
- Saying hello to my lovely and hilarious family: Maybe this time I will actually score some points in Trivial Pursuit. I would also be interested in learning bridge, because I have successfully avoided it for 23 years, and I think that I want to get the game in sometime under the upcoming quarter-of-a-century marker. Rumors have it that there might be badminton (sp?), and I WILL win the invisible Badminton Championship trophy for sure. If the weather doesn't permit, we can just bust out the logic puzzles and have a good time. Oh, we're a wild, wild family, we are.
- Getting a deep, dark tan: Kdogg, my best friend from California, is flying out and we have a very impressive summer mission: get blond, get tan. So God better cooperate and bring on the sun. Kdogg is aparently at least six leaps ahead of me on the deep, dark tanning scale, but just as I thought I would go out and catch some rays, somebody decided that Parisian trees were thirsty. So I suppose I'll have to do an accelerated deep, dark tanning session or two before she shows. The Badminton tournament could really serve a double function in that sense.
- Balancing a healthy diet of physical activity and mental numbness: The beautiful thing about the United States is that there is a lot of space. And so that means that I can find a nice little place to go running without inhaling too much car exhaust, that I can snag a bike and take it to the local drugstore (where I will stand amazed at the aisles and aisles of choices made available to me), and that I can actually learn to rollerblade, finally. These are all appealing things to someone coming from a dense, cobblestoned city like Paris. Cobblestone and rollerblades, people. Not a beginner's material. So yes. I will run, jump, skip and hop to my heart's content.
On the other hand, I will also invest a serious amount of time and effort into at least getting an accurate and semi-diverse glimpse into current American pop culture. I will rent movies. I will go see films in the theater. I will watch Jeopardy! (ok, not pop culture, but I love it so shut up), and I will get my fill of the appropriate television shows.
I propose doing this in the same way that I line up the movies I plan on seeing in Paris: I buy the guide, and circle the times/places for whatever movie I want to see.
Here are the programs I am on the lookout for:
MTV Real World (Paris!)
The Amazing Race (more about that after I see it)
Ok. Well, obviously the list was rather short. Please help me out. I am so pathetic. I used to be a Pop Culture Goddess.
I will also get my hair cut. I almost have a mullet right now. Growing my hair out hurts.
I would help, but I'm in the wrong country, sadly.
MULLET? Ye GODS.
Okay, other American Pop Culture:
Sex in the City (not my thing, but many peoples' thing, so still valid in the APCTV list)
Trading Spaces
Six Feet Under (see if someone can get the first season on DVD)
CSI (on reruns on Thursday nights--I'm SO addicted. The Monday night spinoff sucks ass.)
24 (again, see if you can get the first season on DVD)
What Not to Wear (either the BBC version, which, while not technically American, is much better, or the TLC version, which is American but sucks.)
Now, note that I don't WATCH all of these--seriously! shut up! I don't!--but they are what folks talk about.
Welcome back. Be sure to eat some bacon, peanut butter, and gravy - although perhaps not all together.
trading spaces!
csi!
family guy reruns on cartoon network!
so good they all deserve excalmation points!
!!!!
Have a good trip!!
A "healthy diet of physical activity and mental numbness" sounds like an enjoyable reversal of my own current state.
Not that I'm jealous.
Pardon me for thinking that the latter part of your diet sounds necessary right now in the parts of your homeland where it may be a bad idea to say where you're coming from.
To "bacon, peanut butter and gravy", add eggs, chicken, rice and baked beans and you're set up for an Afro-English breakfast...
Bises!