Living in Paris, one learns to deal with a mild amount of sexual harassment that would never be an issue in the US. Some people say it's the "Latin Spirit." I argue it's still sexual harassment. They retort, "Oh, you American women are all prudes." I insist, "It's still sexual harassment."
I can't count how many times men have whistled, yelled, or whispered an audible, "Mmm...charmante" under their breath to myself and my friends. And it certainly does get old after awhile.
Ok. Sometimes it really is harmless. In certain situations, it can even be kind of sweet, if done in a unique and charming way.
But here is a list of the variety of ways in which men have openly expressed "interest" in either myself or one of my hot, hot friends. Granted, these stories are the some of the more mild versions, and are situations in which each woman - although perhaps belittled, frightened, or grossed out - walked away perhaps a little shook up but without having suffered any serious emotional trauma. My opinion of the event - qualified as either funny, annoying, or fucking gross - follows each mini-story:
1. A sixty-year-old drunk man, about 5'2 with a bright blue, grease-spotted cardigan, stops a woman in the street and says, "Hey lady." She might, just might, decide to pause for a moment because something about the way he said it made it sound soulful and reminded her of Bootsy Collins. He continues and says, "What a jewel!" with a whoop and a holler, and continues on his way. (Funny. Oddly touching.)
2. Riding along a crowded bus, a young woman is squished up against the pole. The man behind her is holding the pole just slightly above her head. As more people get on the bus, the two are pressed closer together, and the woman is trying to shift herself so that the man's crotch is not riding up her ass. He, however, decides to take advantage of the situation by thrusting his groin futher up against her and um...digging in. She pushes him off and jumps off the bus. (fucking gross)
3. A student is in her painting atelier. Her professor is sitting in his usual place on Tuesday mornings, drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette, surveying the goings-on in his atelier. The student turns around to grab some more paint, and he says, "Just stop it." She looks at him and says, "What?" He responds, "When you turn your back on me, don't tense your butt muscles. Don't be so uptight." (funny, gross, and annoying)
4. Two girls are riding the metro. The man behind them has a strange, clown-like grin. One friend leans in to the other and says (in Pig Latin), "At-thay an-may is-ay eepy-cray" The other friend says, "Yeah, can we not talk about it? I'm pretty aware of that and we're all pushed up against one another." He leans into the that friends ear and whispers, "Pardon" as if he wants to sex her up. This is what people say when they want to get off the train, but the train is still in motion. He leans in and says it again. The train reaches the station, and the friends get off so as to let the eight or nine people stepping down through. He steps off the train, leans into one of their ears again and whispers, "Great big thanks." The girls laugh. (funny, but still creepy)
5. Two teenage boys from the suburbs have come into Paris for the day. Two female friends are walking back from their grocery shopping. It is a hot, hot summer day. One of them is wearing a tank top. As the boys pass by, one says to the other loudly, "Damn, that girl has huge tits." (annoying)
6. Repeat story 5 except make it college-aged boys and the girl alone on the street without grocery bags and with a sweater on. (more annoying)
7. A waitress is serving beer and cocktails all day long. A man drinks six or seven coronas calmly in the corner while listening to the band. When it comes time to pay, he walks up to her quietly while she is giving an extensive list of orders to the bartender. "Come here," he says, motioning for her to lean in for a secret. She cocks her head up towards him while still writing the rest of the order, "Mm-hmm?" she asks absent-mindedly. He plants a sloppy, cerveza-ridden kiss on her neck, draws back and says, "This is for you," dropping a 20 in front of her. She's so surprised she doesn't know what to say, but she certainly doesn't want his whore money. The bartender just stares as she folds it up calmly and puts it in her pocket anyway. (Granted, this actually happened in the US, but it applies, anyway because it's REALLY fucking gross)
8. A student has gone to a local bar for a drink. Randomly, she runs into the security guard from her university, whom she knows well and talks to on a daily basis. She waves and says, "Hi Dennis." He walks up to the bar with his drink and sits down, and she starts to chit chat. He insists on speaking of other things: "Oh, those girls at school really get me. I can just sit there and watch them walk by all day long; I have no problem with that. What I wouldn't give to have some yogurt to spread between some of those girls' theighs, and I would just lick it up slowly, slowly, slowly." The student gets off her bar stool, stands up and said, "You've always been nice to me at school, but you've got some serious fucking problems if you think you can just say that type of thing to me" and walks away. (abso-fucking-lutely gross)
9. The guy at the crepe place gives two hot mamas free drinks every time they go there. (not only is it funny, it's fucking AWESOME)
10. A drunken man on the metro around midnight is sitting across from a 20-year-old girl new to Paris. She is reading the newspaper calmly after returning from a day at the school computer lab. He gets up and saunters over to her. "Give me he kiss, " he orders from his standing position. She ignores him, but gets nervous. He leans down, grabs the back of the seat she is sitting on and says, "Give me kiss, baby. A kiss." She leans away from him. He leans in and she smacks him with her newspaper. He reels backwards in confusion and she changes seats next to another man in the same metro car. He comes back to her and puts one hand behind her seat and one against the wall, closing her off from the man and trapping her in his "embrace." "I told you, give me a kiss, baby." He is angry. He is leaning in and is dangerously close. The man next to her says and does nothing. She clearly cannot defend herself properly in the language as she is reading and English paper. In a moment of panic, she madly kicks his shins as they pull into the next station. He stands up in shock and in the small window between his arm (still against the wall) and the door she escapes. He yells after her, "That's right, you fucking slut! Run away!" (gross and disturbing)
I know these kinds of things - both the good and the bad - also happen in the US. I have encountered them myself. But why is it that it is so much more tolerated in France? What is it about the status of women that allows this sort of thing to continue?