The Boy managed to fuck up our internet connection. The last three days have been spent in a grumbling, swearing mess - I avoided the house and went out on the town while he stayed inside muttering at the computer and occasionally screaming at it. This arrangement suited me just fine.
But I guess I just hadn't realized how much of a part of my daily routine this whole internet thang has become. I don't spend hours and hours and hours online, but I do a lot of communicating through email. More than I had realized. Equally imortantly, I get all my news from the damn computer. I had to go out and buy a (gasp!) paper today. And it's Sunday. They don't really have Sunday papers in France.
And I also felt like I was disappointing people. Isn't that just crazy talk? But I was thinking about when I go to sites where I know the author (that word feels a bit bold) updates daily, and becoming puzzled over a two- or three-day gap in posts. No worries kids, I'm still here. Some dumbass just fucked up our connection. Some dumbass named Boy.
Finally, I'm really surprised by this, but I kept on feeling how much stuff I needed to say in my next post. It kept knawing at me. Friday night, I was already filled with a couple of things that I wanted to post about, by Saturday I was brimming with ideas, and now it is Sunday afternoon. I got up early this morning and have been frolicking around for the last four hours - it's absolutely beautiful out and I feel I have gotten the most out of the weather. I sat on a terrace at 10 am and had a coffee. I wandered around the Sorbonne, sat on a bench, and read. I went into the Luxembourg gardens and spent God knows how long watching the hundreds of little kids scrambling and screaming around the playground. But the whole time I had this nagging little voice saying "God, I just can't wait to get home and post something." It really was just a wee voice, but it was there. And that was really rather strange. Borderline unsettling. Plus, although the last three days have been dynamite, I am anxious to read about current events and to listen to my precious "radio," as well as to catch up on some of the things some of my daily reads have posted on their sites.
All of this is to say that this post is more just to ease this silly feeling of needing to post. In that, it's just about as pointless as a person who writes a letter just to say "I just wanted to write to see how you are doing." Or as calling a friend that I haven't talked to in awhile (three days - hah!) just to say "hi." That type of thing.
In the meantime, I'll leave you with a baker's dozen worth of thoughts, and maybe I'll be back once the sun goes down:
1. Men should not fake bake. It's never attractive.
2. Coconut flavored yogurt is just the most delicious thing ever.
3. Paris is actually quiet on Sundays despite the masses. I walked past a square that was filled with people sitting out on the cafe terraces surrounding it, and it was as if everyone had mutually decided to speak in hushed tones. Their collective conversation amounted to little more than a low hum, only to be broken occasionally by a crying child or a motorcycle going by. Precious, really. Almost like a library, except with hundreds of people drinking coffee and beer and far fewer books.
4. Learning Arabic is quickly becoming frighteningly complicated. I am determined to rise to the challenge. I don't remember learning to read in school - Mom told me that we all (meaning my brother, sister and I) just sort of "figured it out" at home sometime before or around kindergarten. I am getting to have the experience now, 17 years later. Mouthing out the phonemes and using my finger to guide me, I go at a snail's pace through four words: a true test of patience (something I have never had enough of). Reading really is so arbitrary. Random symbols join to form random words. We forget how miraculous it is that it even makes any sense.
5. No more bookstores for me for awhile. Books beckon me to buy them and I put up the weakest of fights. My credit card and a bookstore are a dangerous, dangerous combination. There should be warning signs at the entrance.
6. Never talk to a man while he's trying to fix something.
7. Headphones and music change everything around you. Bus rides go much faster. No matter what you do, you always end up walking to the beat.
8. If it is two am, you're drunk and covered in blood, you should stop trying to stop individual cars by jumping into oncoming traffic. Not only are you doing something you'll regret in the morning, you're also scaring the shit out of me.
9. The "N" has totally disappeared from my keyboard. Not the button, just the "N."
10. If you start a Paul Auster book at night, be sure you don't have any homework to do (thanks for the "Leviathan" recommendation Matt - I read it in one shot. Excellent.)
11. Champagne goes straight to your head on an empty stomach.
12. Modern medicine is a wonderful thing. Not only does it enable you to function, but it lets you go out and see springtime - something everyone should have the good fortune of experiencing.
have fun frolicing. it's nice here, too.
There are days when events happen or things are said, and I think about how I would write about it in my site. I don't always end up doing that, but it's interesting how fond I've become of putting my thoughts into that little box. Strange.
It's good to get that feeling of anticipation. Helps the juices flow. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, eh? For me this holds true in respect to my writing. Well, and with many things now that I think on it.
Have a good one!
I'm the same way with posting. It's nice to have our minds bonded to our words in that way, and to be lucky enough to have an audience for it.
I just read Paul Auster's New York Trilogy, and I loved it. When does the book club start?
Wednesday I am going to the English bookstore. Reading will start as soon as I can get some idea of which books I'll need to find a creative way of getting into my greedy little hands. That means Wednesday, I think. How's that sound?
Sounds excellent. Like I said, if you're comfortable with it, I'd be happy to send some of these your way. Nothing like sharing in a book club!
Yeah, I knew you'd like Leviathan. Remarkably relevant these days.
I am well-acquainted with the book problem. For me it's all too easy. There aren't many shops with English books here in Hamburg, so I just visit Amazon on an impulse, and a few days later I've got a box of expensive English books and no money left for the month!