Babs

1. Barbie is based on a German sex toy named Lilli. Lilli had been featured in German comic strips since 1952 (Barbie came out in 1959) as a sexually provacative lady who used her allure to get money from rich men. (I believe we call those people whores nowadays). Weirdly enough, Lilli was a doll intended for men, not for women. They would place it on their dashboards or, even more strangely, would give their girlfriends Lilli dolls instead of flowers or chocolate. I guess it beats a paperweight.

2. Were all the Barbies ever sold put head to toe in a straight line, she could circumnavigate her way around the earth more than four times (this statistic is from 1999 - we might be up to five by now!)

3. Cindy Jackson has done over 20 plastic surgery operations to look like a "human Barbie doll."

4. Barbie's younger sister, Skipper, was originally sold in 1975 as an "educational" toy for young girls not yet mature enough for Barbie.

So, um...how educational is that? Was Mattel trying to tell me that one day my arm would turn and I would have boobs? Because I recall it being a bit messier than that.

5. Barbie recently had a pregnant friend, Midge. She was pulled from the shelves because people thought it might promote teenage pregnancy (even though Midge was married in 1991 and, if she isn't living in Virginia, I believe she has to be 18 to do that. Which means, yeah, she's gotta be at least 29 by now). I'm still trying to figure out how silent Midge is running around town promoting teen pregnancy.

6. Barbie has had a bizarre collection of props over the years. One of which was a book. Its front cover displayed its title - "How to Lose Weight" and its back cover summarized its content and oh-so-subtle message - "Don't Eat." She also came once with a bathroom scale set permanently to 110 pounds. Were Barbie to be blown up to life-size, she would be 5'11, although I'm not sure if that's with or without the heels. Either which way, that's just not enough pounds. She must have been doing some really thorough reading of that book of hers.

7. Cindy Sherman, one of my favorite artists, made a really groovy art piece where she suddenly made Barbie have genitalia and do naughty things with Ken.

8. In 1989 - the Barbie Liberation Organization set out to do a sneaky trick. Both GI Joe and Barbie came out with talking dolls around the same time of year. But the BLO was not very happy with the three sentences Barbie repeated: "I love shopping," "Will we ever have enough clothes?" and their particular favorite "Math is hard!" The BLO went in and did a midnight toy store operation and managed to switch GI Joe and Barbie's voiceboxes. Little boys were going home with GI Joes that said in a high, whiny voice "Math is hard!" and little girls showed their friends their innocent-looking Barbies that cried out "VENGEANCE IS MINE!!!" (The mega group that did this is RTMark, a really groovy group. Check it out when you get a chance. They've got some crazy ideas and have done some crazy things.)

9. Ruth Handler, the "inventor" of the Barbie doll, had two children. Their names were, yes, that's right, Barbara and Ken.

10. 1968- Ten years after the first Barbie was released came Christi, "the first African-American friend for Barbie. She has ethnically correct curcly brown hair, large brown eyes and light brown skin." She was retired before the year was up because nobody wanted to buy her. It was the same fate for a similar attempt made at ethnic diversity in 1975 with Cara, although she managed to stay on the shelves until 1978. The "ethnically correct" hair of those dolls turned orange over time (oxidation).

11. The highest selling Barbie of all time was "Totally Hair Barbie" (1992). Her hair went all the way to the floor. "Totally Hair Ken" had the most frightening head of hair I have ever seen. I don't care that he's a doll. That should be a crime.

12. Mattel's official slogan for Barbie is "Be Anything." I would like to add my own personal thought as to what exactly they meant by that. Mattel's underhanded slogan is "Be Anything, as long as you're not fat, ugly, flat-chested, unfashionable, or non-white."

13. Then again, there is a Rosie O'Donnel Barbie. She has a microphone in her right hand and is wearing a "stylish red pantsuit." So I guess anything is possible.