Rollin rollin rollin

For all Parisians, you MUST ride the new super duper high speed walkway at the Montparnasse station. For all non-Parisians, you must keep in mind that there is a fabulous super duper high speed walkway in the Montparnasse station.

The brilliant engineers spent months designing and building Gateway: the moving walkway of the future. Hours of toil led to opening day last June, when the supersonic speed of the walkway made so many people fall that Gateway was shut down. New work was done, the engineers worked out bugs, video moniters were installed to repeat "Don't lift your feet" and "Hold on to the rail" at the "warm-up" and the "cool-down" zones. New, important men with walkie-talkies (or as the French say, talkie-walkies) were put at the entrance to determine who was fit to ride. Young children, pregnant women, old people, and women in stillettos were asked to step aside.

And now, presto! Commuters gain one and a half minutes thanks to Gateway when trying to connect from the lines 13 or 6 to the 4 or 12.

You might think that moving walkways are boring. Not Gateway. This is commuting at THREE TIMES THE SPEED of your typical moving walkway. Now that's fast. So fast that you need a warm-up and a cool-down. Even better, the old, SLOW walkway runs alongside Gateway, so you can laugh at the pansies too scared to ride this super mean machine. We all knew that woman in stillettos was too weak to experience Gateway. She just couldn't hack it. You, however, made the cut, and you can wave her and those other slow pokes of yesterday goodbye as you speed towards the future.

It's like an amusement park ride in the middle of your commute. A little flat rollercoaster, where everybody is carrying briefcases and umbrellas.